Anonymous asked in HealthWomen's Health · 1 decade ago

Never Orgasmed Through penetration Help?

Im beginning to become paranoid that i have a problem, i would love to climax at the same time as my boyf. Any suggestions

25 Answers

  • Kasha
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Best answer

    You are normal.

    Statistically speaking only around 30% of women orgasm from penetrative penis to vaginal sex, this is simply because women's bodies are not made to enjoy sex this way as most women need clitoral stimulation, an area largely ignored during penetrative sex. We are only taught about how to have sex via penetration, whether it is through the media or in sex education lessons, real women don't scream with pleasure the moment they are penetrated as you see on TV, that is pure male fantasy.

    Women have to have sex other ways, or what is known as foreplay, not just to stimulate the right areas but to get a woman going – most people do not insure a woman is fully aroused prior to penetration, so the clitoris and vagina are not fully ready for sex either via penetration or other ways – i.e. not erect or lengthened.

    You'll find women can be hard to bring to orgasm at first, but due to hormonal changes after orgasm and vaginal changes it means that it becomes easier and easier for a woman to reach orgasm from the first orgasm (multi-orgasmic), where as for men once they have reached orgasm for the first time it gets harder for them to reach orgasm as fast next time – thus our bodies work together quite well in this respect. Ideally a woman should be brought to orgasm prior to any penetrative sex, but most people seem to think as soon as she is wet (first signs of body preparing for sex) it is time for penetration.

    People have suggested different positions that does to some degree make a difference, but foreplay is the first and most important tip for reaching orgasm during sex – also very important you realise that penetration is not the only form of sex, it is not the be all and end all of the sexual experience even if your man argues otherwise. Foreplay including sex toys may be even more use to you.

    Kegal exercises can also help as during penetrative sex you can squeeze your vaginal muscles together making it more pleasurable for you, although often also for him making him orgasm faster. Most exercises on the kegal theory do very little, but if you do your research you can find some better exercises, alternatively try the ones you can come across and see what works for you. You don't need any special equipment, but it is available if it is easier for you to exercise that way.

    A tip is to remember orgasm is not always the goal of sex, sexual teachings such as Tantric Sex aim to keep each partner from orgasm for as long as possible. Tantric Sex may be something very useful for you and your partner, not just emphasising importance in both parties pleasured and orgasm not being the most important thing in the world it will also teach you both stamina and how to recognise each other more during sex, making it more enjoyable.

    Some sites for you to check out; - Kegal - Kegal - Kegal - Kegal - Kegal - Kegal - Tantra - Tantra - Tantra - Tantra - Tantra - Tantra - Tantra - Tantra - Tantra - Sex - Sex - Sex - Sex - Sex – Vagina - Vagina - Vagina - Vagina

  • 1 decade ago

    guess what - most women experience what you are. it is difficult to be on the exact same level as your partner. it takes time and finding just the right position, method and if you are lucky.

    the male organ does its best but you might need some pre-penetration attention before you engage. if you have a worried mind or are not really into it - will make it impossible. You must relax and don't worry about your pleasures being timed to equal climax so much.

    discuss with your ob-gyn if you feel it can be physically caused. plus a doc knows the human body enough to be taking care of it so why not ask. a phone call can't hurt.

    Good luck!

  • 4 years ago


    Never Orgasmed Through penetration Help?

    Im beginning to become paranoid that i have a problem, i would love to climax at the same time as my boyf. Any suggestions

    Source(s): orgasmed penetration help:
  • 1 decade ago

    You could try to strengthen your P.F muscles (Pelvic Floor). This will help to heighten the sexual intercourse. Not only that it will give him a nice squeeze when you climax.

    The easiest way for you would probably be to get some love balls from Anne Summers.

    What you do is put one ball in and then pull it out slowly while trying to stop it by tensing your muscles.

    Try this for a couple of weeks and see if that helps.

    If that doesn't help to much then just try tensing them without them.

    Good luck and have fun.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Start off with a lot of foreplay, using fingers and tongue, get him to massage your grafenburg (g) spot for a while, experience orgasm through that first then assume the you on top position as you will be able to control the pace and direction of the penis. I went 12 years with my ex wife of not being able to get her to orgasm as she was not interested in foreplay. My girlfriend loves foreplay and I spend hours on that. Hope this has helped you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Its VERY common, try not to get too stressed. Just make the foreplay, oral sex, (here comes my favourite phrase...) or 'manual stimulation' more fun & more a part of the 'whole event' (or should that be 'hole event'?).

    Porn can help as well. My other half likes the words while I like the pictures. Is this because women are more literate than men?

  • 1 decade ago

    Same thing for me... but let me tell you its completely natural and normal for MOST yes I did say MOST woman. You DO NOT have a problem..

    See if your man during intercourse can rub your clit... try it doggy style so he can reach around you and rub it that way.. if your comfortable you can do it yourself...

    You can also try instead of intercourse doing a little 69 so you can both get pleasure and climax at the same time...

    Good Luck and check out the link I provided for you :)

  • 1 decade ago

    it's not unusual to have separate orgasms - it's the usual - just enjoy. try different posistions - maybe spooning and he can reach around to finger you while being penetrated.

  • 1 decade ago

    Why not encourage your boyfriend to take longer pleasuring you before actually s.ex. This way you can be climaxing at the same time. Also try a Rabbit! Best thing i ever bought!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i agree with blue. here are some tips

    have lots of forplay including oral. try the woman on top position, this will give u more control and movement as u like.

    message clitoris with hand OR try to rub against his pubic bone.

    be relax and don't centered on orgasm it will come of its own. enjoy...

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    That is why my gf always wanted me make her come by my tongue before my penetration. This is true. rarely women has come the same time.

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