I'm 13 years older then her and I'm in love?

Does anyone out there believe or think a longterm relationship between an older guy and a younger woman can work. Are there any younger woman married to older guys here? We love each other so much then the age thing came up and I'm scared to death. I can see us married with children and having a great relationship. I'm avoiding her for now to think because I also work with her. She is the most important person in my life. I felt avoiding her would give me the chance to think about all this. I have the next four days off and I'm going to spend time alone cleaning and thinking about all this. I am very in love with her and I do want a relationship with her. However, I also feel by giving her some space she will miss me and we can take a break from each other. She brought up the I want to be friends only thing then she calls me all the time. It just seems she is also confused to all this but I know she's madly in love with me. Should I go for it and what if any are your thoughts. Thanx

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    I am madly in love with a man who is 12 years older than me. I am 36, he will be 48. I'm not sure how old you both are but it can work. Sounds like it may be a bit of an issue for her just from what you have stated in your question. It may be a good idea to give her a bit of space to sort it out in her head and don't try to pressure her or put her on the spot about it. I hope everything works out for you both and best of luck.

  • Brandy
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Sir, I totally understand where you are coming from here. I'm currently in a relationship with a young man where I'm 16 years older than him. When left alone things are perfect. He's great for me and to me and I care for him very much. I believe he loves me and wants to be with me. But I find myself constantly questioning our relationship because of the all the "what ifs" and comments from other people. I've also been in a relationship where I was 23 and he was 53 (apparently I am not sutited to date men my own age). At anyrate, I think your relationship can work if you two want it enough. More than the age difference I think the fact that you two work together is more of an issue. Because if it doesn't workout, then you have to see each other everyday. You can't call off for weeks and weeks while you get over her and vise versa. Avoiding her is a MISTAKE. She may get the wrong idea that instead of your trying to give her space and take time to think things throuh that you are actually pulling away from her. I know that is not the idea you want to give her. Now, about her saying she wants to only be friends, do you think she means that or is she having issues with the age difference too? How old are you both? If she is considerably younger it could be she's not matured enough to deal with it. Remember, as older people (I'm assuming you are older than 30?) we have matured and have gained experience and know what we want in life, the younger generation has not accomplished this yet. They haven't lived long enough to learn any lessons. When I was 23 in that relationship I spoke of, I was way too young to live by the restrictions put on me by the older man. He was settled in his ways and had specific ideas of what he wanted our relationship to be like. But I was just a kid, I wanted to explore life and be free, even if I did love him. Love, while a great feeling, isn't all that's needed to make a relationship work. In fact, you can have everything else and not be in love and still have a good, solid relationship. Trust, respect, compassion, compatibility and especially compromise are the largest components to a good fit. She could love you to death, but if those other things aren't there, it just won't work. Finally, I think you need to stop avoiding her, sit down and have an honest heart to heart. And whatever you decide, stick to it! A mistake I keep making with my young man is we'll talk, settle things and decide to stay together. Then I'll get second and third thoughts and we are back to where we started. If you love her and she loves you and you are both willing, then I say just work on that and forget the rest and it will work out fine.

  • 1 decade ago

    I know it may seems a bit scary and I also know that some people will criticize you.

    However, when people are mean or silly, they can always find a way to criticize, so you shouldn't be bothered about it.

    13 years old is a big gap, MAYBE, but, she's not young enough to be your daughter!As long as there's not a generation, I don't think it's that a problem.

    You seem to love her and so does she, so that's all that matters, if you want to have a family together, and build things, do it, because there are not many women that you'll meet in your life who will make you feel like this.

    My parents have friends who have a 12 years gap, when they met she was 20 and he was 32, and it was 13 years ago, now they have two children and they seem to be perfectly happy like this.

    I think what you wrote about her is just so full of love and sincerity that you would make the biggest mistake in your life by breaking up with her, don't go away from love when it's just in front of you!

    Good luck and take care!

  • 1 decade ago

    My husband is 15 years older than me. I almost 36 years old and we have been married for 13 years. We have 2 kids and are still as much in love with each other as we were when we got married. Age doesn't matter as long as you are committed to one another and have the same interests. We also worked together when we met. I say go for it if you really love each other!!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    I have a friend who's married to a guy 15 years older than her, and they are happily married. Guess it boils down to how much you love her and want to be with her, and vice versa. Age difference shouldn't be an obstacle to a healthy relationship. What matters most is your love for each other.

  • 1 decade ago

    well personally i wouldn`t put age on a relationship,you`re right to get time to think but i think u should go for it,if she refuses then u know u were rejected instead of not saying anything and dying inside,u`re sure she loves u too,then thats reason enough,the lets be friends thing comes up when pple are nervous and having second thoughts,don`t leave room for seconds thoughts,tell her how u feel,show her how much she means to u,avoiding her will only leave room for specuation and cause her to be nervous,love her,care for her..but mostly u gotta show her..good luck!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    my best friends parents are 19 years apart and they been married like 16 and still love each other so yes it can work.love does not matter on your age unless its like 60 year old with 20 year old.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    As long as your not Anna Nicole Smith, rock on and go wild with it. Otherwise stay at home.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If she is older then 18 then go for it.

  • 1 decade ago

    go for it and don't worry. just don't leave her alone too long and talk to her or else she may think there is something wrong. if you are so in luv you should ask her to marry you...

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