I do not accept that boys are so feeble-minded or lacking in self control that they cannot learn to avoid bad behavior, so I do not accept "boys will be boys" as an excuse for, well, much of anything. Other than possibly a preference for relatively rough or aggressive play (with consenting playmates).
Best answer: I do not accept that boys are so feeble-minded or lacking in self control that they cannot learn to avoid bad behavior, so I do not accept "boys will be boys" as an excuse for, well, much of anything. Other than possibly a preference for relatively rough or aggressive play (with consenting playmates).
I agree that boys cannot be expected not to look at attractive girls or women. I agree that, if being so looked at bothers you, you should dress modestly. But if you don't object to boys getting an eyeful, I think you merely should adhere to general cultural standards of decency, which would mean covering your butt, genitals, and breasts on most occasions.
But I believe most boys are perfectly capable of learning that scanty clothing is not consent to either be touched, or to have sexual comments made about one. I believe any boys who are *not* capable of learning to keep their hands off girls who are dressed "immodestly" need to be locked up somewhere where they can't hurt decent people, and boys who can't learn not to make sexual comments about strangers in an obnoxious or intrusive way should be socially shunned until they figure out how to behave properly.
But this requires *teaching* boys that, in fact, no means no. That other people have a right to not be touched if they don't want to be touched (barring ordinary social touching, like handshakes or brushing against someone in a crowded space). That other people have a right to have their possessions respected. And so on. In other words, we need to *not* dismiss the boy pulling a girl's hair with "Well, that means he likes you", or "Boys will be boys", we need to tell him to knock it the <bleep> off. Ignore that kind of thing in kindergarten, and you're likely to end up with a teenager who thinks it's perfectly OK to grope his classmates, or even to commit rape, no matter how much they're wearing. Teach that kind of thing consistently, from day 1, and you'll likely end up with a boy capable of keeping his damned hands to himself even if a pretty girl parades naked in front of him.
1 day ago