• Is it normal when you've been a caring person to eventually stop?

    I don't know what happened to me. I use to be a caring person but now if the other person does not act in a similar way I feel very annoyed and like I'd prefer to take back the energy I feel was wasted on them. I did not use to be like this and wouldn't have even thought about what I got in return. I... show more
    I don't know what happened to me. I use to be a caring person but now if the other person does not act in a similar way I feel very annoyed and like I'd prefer to take back the energy I feel was wasted on them. I did not use to be like this and wouldn't have even thought about what I got in return. I think it started when I was very kind to some people and then they threatened my life and did other things that showed awful behaviour, another person manipulated money out of me and then situations kept happening were I would care about someone but they'd be evil or take advantage. Now I don't feel obliged to do anything for anyone because I feel I'll either get nothing back and feel extremely drained and tired from helping them or that they'll manipulate me or expect it 24/7 or something else. Is this a normal progressive thing with age, or something bad that I can correct? I no longer feel good helping people and getting people to pay me to do any work and not do it for free feels like getting blood out of a stone.
    24 answers · 4 days ago
  • This is why I can't deal with people anymore?

    I'm in my 30s, and my experience has boiled down to this: because I have a certain "look", people often have preconceptions of me that lead to antagonistic behavior. Basically, they scapegoat me. If I don't like something, they think I'm being "difficult". They don't respect my... show more
    I'm in my 30s, and my experience has boiled down to this: because I have a certain "look", people often have preconceptions of me that lead to antagonistic behavior. Basically, they scapegoat me. If I don't like something, they think I'm being "difficult". They don't respect my (RIGHT) to boundaries, preferences, and needs. We ALL have them, but it seems like I pay the highest price for it. I know it sounds weird, but I do believe we all have "auras", and this is mine. People either want me to be compliant (which compromises me!!!), or nothing at all. Thoughts?
    6 answers · 1 day ago
  • How to be happy without being in a relationship?

    I find it hard to be happy and I feel empty if I don’t have a man in my life how can I be happy again and get out of this depressed state
    I find it hard to be happy and I feel empty if I don’t have a man in my life how can I be happy again and get out of this depressed state
    11 answers · 2 days ago
  • How to stop compulsively behaving emotionless?

    I'm not emotionless, I just think I've got hurt so many times it's an automatic response to avoid any sort of emotional connection with anyone. I don't even look at girls the same way anymore. Even if the girl is pretty, smart and brings up an interesting topic I just reply straight-up in a very... show more
    I'm not emotionless, I just think I've got hurt so many times it's an automatic response to avoid any sort of emotional connection with anyone. I don't even look at girls the same way anymore. Even if the girl is pretty, smart and brings up an interesting topic I just reply straight-up in a very cold manner which usually kills the conversation instantly... I'd like to change that, but don't know how... It's been going on for about a year.
    7 answers · 2 days ago
  • What to do about feeling worthless being away from your homeland for two decades?

    Best answer: Can't you visit or Skype or FaceTime on Facebook??
    You need to deal with your rage
    Best answer: Can't you visit or Skype or FaceTime on Facebook??
    You need to deal with your rage
    4 answers · 2 days ago
  • Are you a daydreamer or a night dreamer?

    8 answers · 4 hours ago
  • When I was bullied in middle school, I thought about bringing a gun to school and killing my bullies. Am I a terrible person?

    It's been years since middle school and I'm way past that point, but I can't help but feel super creepy whenever I think back to that thought. As well, whenever people say the Columbine killers were cowards who didn't have to shoot up their school just because they were bullied, I get very scared.... show more
    It's been years since middle school and I'm way past that point, but I can't help but feel super creepy whenever I think back to that thought. As well, whenever people say the Columbine killers were cowards who didn't have to shoot up their school just because they were bullied, I get very scared. Why? Because if I hadn't moved schools, I honestly wouldn't know what I would have done. It was a very awful time in my life... I'm sorry to bring this up around the time of the Florida school shooting, but this just reminded me of my awful thoughts. Blessings to you all...
    7 answers · 8 hours ago
  • How do I develop psychopathic traits?

    Best answer: No. Don't become bitter. Those people are psychopaths because certain areas of their brain don't communicate with other areas. You don't want that. THAT won't make you happier. You just have to be careful with who you trust or fall in love with. Eventually, someone will come along who appreciates a... show more
    Best answer: No. Don't become bitter. Those people are psychopaths because certain areas of their brain don't
    communicate with other areas. You don't want that. THAT won't make you happier.
    You just have to be careful with who you trust or fall in love with. Eventually, someone
    will come along who appreciates a caring person like you. Hang in there. You have
    a beautiful empathetic heart.
    7 answers · 3 days ago
  • Is it normal that I want to completely isolate myself from society?

    I have no longer the feeling of being with other people, I just want to be completely left alone. I'm definitely introverted, which I hear is okay, but is it common to want to isolate yourself from society? I do not want any friends in my life any longer and I wish to be alone for the rest of my life. I hate... show more
    I have no longer the feeling of being with other people, I just want to be completely left alone. I'm definitely introverted, which I hear is okay, but is it common to want to isolate yourself from society? I do not want any friends in my life any longer and I wish to be alone for the rest of my life. I hate talking or interacting with people, it's painfully awkward unless it's necessary to communicate with them. I've been trying to cut off my friends completely and it seems to be working, which I'm happy about. Does anyone else have the same feeling or is there just something wrong with me mentally?
    24 answers · 7 days ago
  • I absolutely hate being a lesbian and I want to kill myself?

    I don't want to be a lesbian. And don't give me that "date a man" bullshit. I'm 18, never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl, never had sex. I'm fu*king terrified that i'll never meet ANYONE and that i will die with no dating or sexual experience. I don't know how to meet girls,... show more
    I don't want to be a lesbian. And don't give me that "date a man" bullshit. I'm 18, never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl, never had sex. I'm fu*king terrified that i'll never meet ANYONE and that i will die with no dating or sexual experience. I don't know how to meet girls, and it makes me so depressed that I can't date all the pretty girls i see because they will most likely be straight. I also have depression, and it makes everything so much worse. I'm scared that i will end up lonely with no one in my 20's and even worse in my 30's. I don't want people to know that i'm single because of my shi*ty dating pool. I honestly can't take it anymore. There is no hope.
    23 answers · 6 days ago
  • Dammit, is this really what is wrong in my marriage? Please tell me I'm wrong. If I'm right, WTH am I supposed to do if I refuse?

    Hi, it's UV. Don't go into instant hate mode, hear me out today. My wife is a destroyer of dreams. She told me that when she was a little girl she questioned God's existence in the middle of church because nothing made logical sense. She also, at 8 years old, questioned Santa having time to go to all... show more
    Hi, it's UV. Don't go into instant hate mode, hear me out today. My wife is a destroyer of dreams. She told me that when she was a little girl she questioned God's existence in the middle of church because nothing made logical sense. She also, at 8 years old, questioned Santa having time to go to all the kids houses in one night and destroyed Xmas for herself. She also questioned gender norms since she could enjoy G.I.Joes just as much as her older brother. Basically, my wife is a free thinking truth seeker (like me), only in her case she rejects EVERYTHING she doesn't understand. She is detail driven and can't be tricked to believe anything she doesn't want to. Enter love.... I know we're going to debate this, but love isn't real. Romantic love is just a culturally programmed fantasy driven by corporations to sell products/services that plays with our emotions, sexual love is nothing more than primal instincts of dominance and submission due to a competitive temperament and hormones. Even mature love is really just a declared monogamy with morals and ethics keeping it that way. Love isn't real. But it's my job to make it seem real, isn't it? I stopped believing in love years ago. I don't do cards, flowers, dates, sex, anything. And she never did this stuff, it was always me pampering her. Our first months was me doing all the work to keep the "love" alive. Nothing's changed has it? It's my job to convince her love is real, isn't it? Please tell me I'm wrong...
    7 answers · 1 day ago
  • What is it with me. I am a friendly considerate guy, but was never able to make real friends.?

    Now I am 65. and wish I could finally die, . but too afraid to commit suicide.. and running out of savings , even with a part time job.
    Now I am 65. and wish I could finally die, . but too afraid to commit suicide.. and running out of savings , even with a part time job.
    8 answers · 2 days ago
  • Can being sick be psychological?

    I was thinking about this for awhile so I decided to fake being sick, I did all the tricks of putting de thermometer in a cup full of hot water and so on, after a couple days of being sick my family started to get sick too, first my brothers, then my dad and then my mom, I know i wasn’t sick to begin with so I know... show more
    I was thinking about this for awhile so I decided to fake being sick, I did all the tricks of putting de thermometer in a cup full of hot water and so on, after a couple days of being sick my family started to get sick too, first my brothers, then my dad and then my mom, I know i wasn’t sick to begin with so I know I couldn’t have passed it to them but still they are blaming it all on me. Anyway that time I thought maybe they really got sick by someone else, so I decided to try it again a couple of months after and it happened again but this time only my brothers got sick again, is it possible that it’s all psychological? Or why did this happen?
    6 answers · 1 day ago
  • How to make friends when you suffer social anxiety and low self esteem?

    Best answer: You're bringing up a thorny topic, friendship at work. If somebody asks you why you're shy, that makes me suspicious. "Friendly" people are liable to pry about your personal problems and very soon, information about these problems can be the subject of gossip. The most popular self-help book ever... show more
    Best answer: You're bringing up a thorny topic, friendship at work. If somebody asks you why you're shy, that makes me suspicious. "Friendly" people are liable to pry about your personal problems and very soon, information about these problems can be the subject of gossip.

    The most popular self-help book ever written, How to Win Friends and Influence People, says that shy people have an advantage. Good listeners are always welcome.

    If somebody asked me why I'm so shy, I could follow Carnegie's advice and focus my attention on the one asking the question, ask how that person is so good at getting along with people. I wouldn't answer the question. I'd find a way to go around it or say that it's things of a very personal nature that I'd rather not talk about. And I would keep the conversation about the other person.

    "The most beautiful word the person can hear is the person's own name."
    - Carnegie

    Carnegie's book is available as an audiobook on YouTube. The author's daughter, Donna Carnegie, wrote a version of her father's classic "For Teen Girls" that you might find interesting.

    You don't have to be the life of the party to be friendly. In fact, trying to be the life of the party tends to put people off. Carnegie points out that becoming interested n other people makes making friends much, much easier than trying to make people interested in you,

    As they say, bullies are cowards. Cowards are afraid to pick on people who get along with a lot of people. All you have to do is get along with a lot of people. Not be close friends with everybody, just get along in a friendly way,

    Another author with good advice for dealing with difficult people is the ancient philosopher Marcus Aurelius. He wrote,

    "Begin the morning by saying to yourself, I will meet with the busy-body, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious. All these things happen by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil. But I who have seen the nature of the good that it is beautiful, and of the bad that it is ugly, and the nature of him who does wrong, that it is akin to me, not of the same blood or seed, but that it participates in the same intelligence and the same portion of the divinity, I can neither be injured by any of them, for no one can fix on me what is ugly, nor can I be angry with my kinsman, nor hate him, for we are made for cooperation."

    I've written a lot of mental health answers, with advice from experts about various topics, including social anxiety, and you're welcome to click on my name and read.

    About self-esteem, something that seems very interesting is the relationship between self-esteem and self-effecacy. There are some good YouTube videos that explain this.
    6 answers · 4 days ago
  • Why everyone bullies?

    Why do people bully everyone and everyone gets bullied back? What is the concept of making another human being feel bad, and making yourself feel good by doing it. Everybody gets bullied, kids, parents, co-workers each and everyone but why is the simplest rule as said on the bible (christianity) "love thy... show more
    Why do people bully everyone and everyone gets bullied back? What is the concept of making another human being feel bad, and making yourself feel good by doing it. Everybody gets bullied, kids, parents, co-workers each and everyone but why is the simplest rule as said on the bible (christianity) "love thy neighbor as you love thyself" so hard to do, its so simple yet so hard for everyone. Or Is it just because of the lack of REAL PURE empathy? Yes people have felt sympathy and empathy but the reality that we will never ever feel each others legit feelings or what actually the person felt because simply we are not them. All we can do is describe that feeling and associate the same circumstances, but still everyone is an individual and everyone feels differently, the issue that one person will never feel what another felt or think or even see that persons perspective, unless you miraculously is the other person. Going back to the question, how does bullying make everyone feel good about themselves? Just because we cannot legitly feel what that person's going through? It is kinda **** up to know, that we can never trully describe every pain and let them feel it as how we felt it because they are simply another human individual. And an individual will think of themselves first. Love is the opposite of pain, but i think individuality is what usually is the obstacle of love. Two people or any lovers can never be one, unless they become eachother.
    6 answers · 1 day ago
  • Should it be perfectly legal to kill bullies?

    In my opinion, i don't think nobody should deserve a second chance. People who started out as bullies when they are kids, HAVE been bullies for a long time. From all the way up to adulthood. Even up til now, people would still use their bullying as a weapon, especially the violent bullies, they push their... show more
    In my opinion, i don't think nobody should deserve a second chance. People who started out as bullies when they are kids, HAVE been bullies for a long time. From all the way up to adulthood. Even up til now, people would still use their bullying as a weapon, especially the violent bullies, they push their bullying WAY TOO FAR, just driving a person to snap, commit suicide or to take matters into his/her own hands by murdering and killing his/her bully for revenge. I seen it happen in workplaces and public schools. An eye for an eye. i been a victim of bullying and I just wish that I could do the same thing on my bullies, because they are just as good as dead. Some others says that "you can't judge a person because of what he/she used to do in the past. In this lifetime people change and people make mistakes" but here's a news flash: I DON'T CARE. A bully is a bully and there's no other way around it. And it really doesn't matter to me at all if that person is changed, you can change yourself but you cannot change your past.
    5 answers · 8 hours ago
  • How can I overcome my depression?

    I’m so bitter, sad, angry, regretful, and depressed. I really wanna let all of this hate and anger I have inside me go but I can’t for some reason. All I want is a decent life for me and my daughter. It’s hard to do that when I don’t know what I wanna do with myself on a daily basis. I feel like such a *******... show more
    I’m so bitter, sad, angry, regretful, and depressed. I really wanna let all of this hate and anger I have inside me go but I can’t for some reason. All I want is a decent life for me and my daughter. It’s hard to do that when I don’t know what I wanna do with myself on a daily basis. I feel like such a ******* failure in life. I had countless opportunities to better myself and I blew them. They say I shouldn’t dwell in the past but when you live such a boring and unfulfilling life you have plenty of time to. I really feel that I am a good person so why doesn’t the positivity I put out into the world ever come back to me. Something that’s is an inconvenience. I’m 25 now and I’ll be 26 at the end of the year. I have nothing to show for myself beside a daughter I had out of wedlock, a car that’s technically not mine and a bed with no sheets that I sleep on in my aunts basement. I’m mentally ill, I’m broke, I work at a dead end job, and I never finished college. It’s so many things I wanna do in life but I don’t feel i the right guidance to help get me to where I would like to be. I got to the point in my life like where I just started making realizations. Somethings just aren’t meant for everyone like playing professional sports, being a doctor and being HAPPY and to LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER ! I guess I’m one of those people and I have to accept it. I don’t want to but after awhile you just lose the fight in yourself. I gave up being happy a long time ago.
    6 answers · 1 day ago