Tell him this. You can't make him change, he has to want to. And the only reason he will want to put in the effort to change, is if he feels there is something to lose if he doesn't. I mean you can ease into the subject, but you are going to have to share how you feel to some degree if you want to see a...
Best answer: Tell him this. You can't make him change, he has to want to. And the only reason he will want to put in the effort to change, is if he feels there is something to lose if he doesn't. I mean you can ease into the subject, but you are going to have to share how you feel to some degree if you want to see a change.
I will say, it seems like you have one foot out the door, which is fine, but I would just do a bit of introspection to make sure that if you decide you want to leave, that is what you really want. You want him to give you attention, which is perfectly reasonable, but can also be a sign that you are unhappy with your life regardless of him. You could be fulfilled by your own things that have nothing to do with him. You could be hanging out with girl friends, taking classes, or doing things on your own. And I know, you wan't a connection with your partner. I'm not saying you shouldn't expect that. I'm just saying it merits a bit of thought, because what you do not want, is to leave, regret it, and find yourself in a string of unfulfilling relationships because what you really need is external validation, and you mask that as a need for a partner who is more engaged. Again, you should be with someone who works on the relationship, I'm just saying that the need for external validation, and legitimate expectation of interest from a partner is a slushy mix where it can be hard to know how much of one thing there is over the other. Just explore a bit, the idea of you not relying on him to fill that need for the moment. If you found excitement on your own, but stayed in the relationship, how might that effect you, and possibly him when he sees you having fun and doing all these things.
Then talk to him. It seems that some part of you already knows what you want, you just want someone to give you permission to leave. Someone to say that you deserve to be with someone who sees you, so you can feel safe enough to walk away from a relationship that must be good in some ways.
3 days ago