Sorry to say but as long as you're living at home you'll have to obey your father's rules. That's how it works unfortunately. However that doesn't mean you can't create some more freedom for yourself, but if you'll get it depends on how you handle things.
First things first, do you have...
Best answer: Sorry to say but as long as you're living at home you'll have to obey your father's rules. That's how it works unfortunately. However that doesn't mean you can't create some more freedom for yourself, but if you'll get it depends on how you handle things.
First things first, do you have any grandparents or aunts, uncles you could talk to about the situation with your dad? A parent of a friend or a good neighbour could also do. If not, find one. They not only can give you an outlet to talk about your dad's shitty strictness, they possible also could come on your side from time to time and talk to your dad about giving you some more freedom. More importantly they could help you figure out what you need to say and or do for your dad to relax little.
Also keep in mind that just as you probably miss your mom and have a hard time with the fact that she isn't around, this is most likely true for your dad as well. So even if it doesn't feel like it, it's hard on him too. Try to keep this in mind. Of course the fact the two of you can't seem to talk about things doesn't make it easier. Unless of course you've been whining or nagging your dad about getting more freedom. If that's the case you need to change your attitude and approach.
You might think teens nowadays are a lot smarter and mature than they were in the 70's, but this isn't true. In many ways teens nowadays know a lot less than those who came before them. Also maturity comes from experience and that only comes in time. In that sense teens are still going through the same process. Teens nowadays are more tech savvy, but knowing how technology works doesn't make you smarter, and in some ways can even make you less smart if you rely on the internet to much to inform yourself or look things up instead of remembering them. So don't make the same mistake as so many teenagers do (no matter the time they grow up in) in thinking you know more. You're still a teen and in many ways life has only just begun, just as your journey to figure out what life is all about.
Figuring out life is something you will keep on doing the rest of your life. There will be many moments where you will come to the conclusion that things weren't as you once thought they were. This is normal and totally part of life so nothing to think about too much, but it's good to keep in mind when you're working on this problem with your dad.
Your girlfriend might break up with you if you can't spend enough time with her. It doesn't have to become true and it could be your fear only, but it's a possibility. Love alone sometimes isn't enough to make a relationship work. If that happens then it will hurt for a while and then you will move on. You're only 15, almost 16, so there will be other girlfriends, even if that seem unimaginable right now.
And although it would be nice to see your girlfriend on a daily basis, there are many ways to stay in touch. And you might also be able to find something to do, sometime you could do together with your girlfriend, that your dad would approve of. So I'm not talking about a party or going to the mall (or whatever it is you do to hang out), but your dad might allow you to volunteer at a local shelter, soup kitchen, animal shelter, retirement/nursing home. After all you'll be doing something to support your community (and making others happy which in turn will make you feel better about yourself) and it's unlikely your dad will have something against that.
Sports, a job, or other hobbies might be other activities your dad would approve or and could allow you to go to. If you can find something your girlfriend also likes you could do it together and have more opportunities to see each other. And even if you can't find something your girlfriend likes, but your dad would allow, then think about doing it anyways. Being out of the house, around friends, and doing something you enjoy doing will make it easier to deal with your dad's strictness. It will make those remaining years at home more doable.
So take a deep breath to calm down (something to do every time your dad gets on your nerves) and think for a moment. Do you have adults you can talk to? If not, find one. This is important because they can help you find another perspective and this will help make things more doable. Then talk to your girlfriend about the type of activity you could do together and your dad would approve of. Then see if you can get it done.
If you can't then don't make a fuss about it as that will only make things worse. Instead look for something else and then take another approach. Try again and again if you have to. If you're patient and persistent you will get there.
2 days ago