This is a first draft that I wrote, and I was wondering if someone who does not know me could read this essay and help me fix it to an acceptable standard, please and thanks!
I walk through the archway and see snow glistening on the roofs of a small village drenched in the 95 degree heat and reality runs away from me. Barely any time to ponder and wow at the scenery, though. I have to get to the castle first, or else there will be lines. And waiting. I’ve been waiting eleven years for this, no more waiting. I hurry past the impossible snow and the crowds of tourists. They will wait in a line later. Once out of the village you can see it. It’s Hogwarts; or a replica of it at least. I pause at it’s grand sight and snap a picture. But I can look at it more later, right now the lines need to be addressed. I hurry past another archway and, finally, I enter Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
The magic, the stone, the wonderful attention to detail that was employed in creating this replica of the prestigious school. Only now am I reminded that I have come to the place that I have been dreaming about for eleven years towing along behind me some less enthusiastic baggage. Namely, my mother and two sisters. As much as I love them, they don’t seem to realize how important an accomplishment this is for me. Walking slowly and not fully oohing and awing at the magic of Hogwarts are two things that they excel at and two reasons why I wish I had gone alone, as well as their insistence that reality is closer than I would like to accept.
But reality is the here and now that we all must eventually face, and is incidentally the reason that I have written down my first encounter with a professionally built Hogwarts. College is upon me and I have to accept the sad fact that I didn’t go to Hogwarts, and and I won’t have a career as an internationally acclaimed quidditch star like Ginny Weasley. However, I do get the opportunity to face reality in a friendly, nurturing, college-type environment. This environment will ideally be somewhere where I can learn and grow, as well as add to my own personal stash of experiences that make me the person that I am today. During my college experience I wish to find again the disregard of reality that I have held onto for so long. As Albert Einstein says: “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
P.S. I realize that it's not very good, it's a first draft, deal with it :)