• Acceptable to put on headphones at gym and totally ignore people who talk to you?

    When I work out at the gym (daily), I don’t want to be bothered. I know some of the people and say hello, but I usually prefer not to be interrupted. The only times strangers talk to me are when they want to strike up a conversation (which I don’t want while I’m working out) or when a personal trainer wants to shoo me away from equipment that he... show more
    When I work out at the gym (daily), I don’t want to be bothered. I know some of the people and say hello, but I usually prefer not to be interrupted. The only times strangers talk to me are when they want to strike up a conversation (which I don’t want while I’m working out) or when a personal trainer wants to shoo me away from equipment that he wants to use next. OK to wear headphones AND totally ignore strangers even when they speak? Or OK to wear headphones and point to them when strangers speak and not engage in conversation that way? I know it’s OK to wear headphones, but I question using them to totally ignore people (instead of using them to avoid conversations but to answer when someone speaks). Thanks.
    14 answers · Etiquette · 2 days ago
  • OK to tell a junior co-worker not to interrupt me unless it's a time-sensitive, important request?

    I'm a mid-career worker in a professional services firm (think accountants, lawyers, etc.). We have a new junior employee who doesn't know anything, and so he asks a lot of questions. Plus he's "Mr. Social", so he likes to shoot the breeze about everything. Whether my office door is open or closed, about once an hour,... show more
    I'm a mid-career worker in a professional services firm (think accountants, lawyers, etc.). We have a new junior employee who doesn't know anything, and so he asks a lot of questions. Plus he's "Mr. Social", so he likes to shoot the breeze about everything. Whether my office door is open or closed, about once an hour, he'll come in. Maybe 1/4 of the things he asks about are time-sensitive things that he needs to know for things he's working on for me, but most of the requests are (1) questions about projects he's doing for others (why bother me with them?), (2) non-time sensitive requests ("hey, we both got an email- I'll take a look at it later today") and (3) random non-work things (for example, when I'm packing up to leave for the day, he'll come in and talk about a pizza place he likes). I hate interruptions. Don't we all? Is it rude of me to tell him not to interrupt me (at least if my office door is closed) unless it's a time-sensitive request for a project he's working on with me? I prefer not to say something like that, but I don't like the guy and he needs to quit bugging me. Thanks.
    6 answers · Etiquette · 6 days ago
  • Was this political statement offensive?

    I ought not to talk politics with people, but one guy at the gym was wearing a Republican T-shirt. He mentioned, during a quick conversation, that "it's too bad that people voted for an inexperienced demagogue just to get a free phone." Who was he referring to? Was his comment offensive?
    I ought not to talk politics with people, but one guy at the gym was wearing a Republican T-shirt. He mentioned, during a quick conversation, that "it's too bad that people voted for an inexperienced demagogue just to get a free phone." Who was he referring to? Was his comment offensive?
    Politics · 2 weeks ago
  • Have you ever worked as a personal shopper or personal stylist at a department store (like Nordstrom, Lord & Taylor, Saks, Neiman Marcus)?

    If so, what are your clients like, and how much do they typically buy/spend in a typical meeting? Did you enjoy the job?
    If so, what are your clients like, and how much do they typically buy/spend in a typical meeting? Did you enjoy the job?
    3 answers · Fashion & Accessories · 2 weeks ago
  • Why don't people of color in the US form their own political parties?

    political parties, to advocate for their own group interests? African-Americans and Hispanics are each the majority in many parts of the US (e.g., Los Angeles, Atlanta, and soon, California and New Mexico). They could run candidates of "the Hispanic Party" or "the African-American Party" at the state and local levels and win,... show more
    political parties, to advocate for their own group interests? African-Americans and Hispanics are each the majority in many parts of the US (e.g., Los Angeles, Atlanta, and soon, California and New Mexico). They could run candidates of "the Hispanic Party" or "the African-American Party" at the state and local levels and win, by sheer demographics alone. They could support the Democratic candidate in Presidential elections. It's common in other countries to have political parties that help specific ethnic groups. Why not?
    Politics · 2 weeks ago
  • At the gym, do you acknowledge or speak to people when they're working out (such as using an elliptical cardio machine)?

    If I'm at the gym, I don't like being interrupted. I don't mind someone coming up and talking if I'm between sets of lifting weights, but if I'm doing cardio exercise (such as the StairMaster) I don't even want someone to nod to acknowledge me. If I'm running on a treadmill, I definitely don't want to be... show more
    If I'm at the gym, I don't like being interrupted. I don't mind someone coming up and talking if I'm between sets of lifting weights, but if I'm doing cardio exercise (such as the StairMaster) I don't even want someone to nod to acknowledge me. If I'm running on a treadmill, I definitely don't want to be interrupted, even via a head nod. I try to return the "no interruption" treatment to others; if I wouldn't like it, they probably don't. So I don't, in turn, even acknowledge people when they're doing cardio, unless the person acknowledges me first. Am I rude? Or respectful?
    Diet & Fitness · 2 weeks ago
  • Missed senior co-worker’s networking event at his home because of workload and taxi delays: how to make amends?

    I work in a professional services firm (think law firm, accounting firm, and agency, etc.). One of the people on my firm’s management committee invited about half the office to a networking party at his home. (We get paid based on clients that we originate, but all of the clients at the event were his.). I accepted. The day before the event, a... show more
    I work in a professional services firm (think law firm, accounting firm, and agency, etc.). One of the people on my firm’s management committee invited about half the office to a networking party at his home. (We get paid based on clients that we originate, but all of the clients at the event were his.). I accepted. The day before the event, a huge work project came up, and I had to spend much of the day of party (a Saturday) working, and a call was even scheduled during the party. But I said I’d go, so I did. It was a 70 minute train ride, and at the destination train station, there were no taxis (despite what the station website says) and Uber was a 20 minute wait. I had expected to zip from the station to his house, stay a bit and then zip back, but the Uber delay meant that I’d arrive when the party was ending and would miss the train that I needed to take back (to the office), so I just gave up and took the train home. I emailed him while at the station, telling him that Uber was having delays. He didn’t respond until late that night and I missed his email: “what happened to you?” Oops. My senior coworker seemed kind of mad this morning. I explained what happened, and he seemed irked. I didn’t have a choice: was I to skip actual work for his event? I think not. I am thinking of buying him a nice bottle of Scotch to make amends, or maybe a model airplane (he loves planes) as a gift. Would that be appropriate? Thanks.
    Etiquette · 1 month ago
  • Summer intern from my college, which I hated--how to handle politely?

    Now my boss has given me a summer intern-"from your school; you have that in common!" It's a small school, so maybe my boss thinks I'll like the connection. I was thinking of telling the intern that "it's been so long since college, and I have been back only twice since graduation, just driving through the campus while I... show more
    Now my boss has given me a summer intern-"from your school; you have that in common!" It's a small school, so maybe my boss thinks I'll like the connection. I was thinking of telling the intern that "it's been so long since college, and I have been back only twice since graduation, just driving through the campus while I was driving by; I don't really remember much about it." Would that be a polite way to get the point across: that I don't want to discuss that horrible school? Thanks.
    Etiquette · 2 months ago
  • How to smile naturally?

    So often at work, I meet a client or someone else who I like and who is important for my career, but I just can't get myself to give a beaming, nice smile. I try to smile, but my face tightens up and I probably don't look too thrilled. I'm probably so focused on needing to ensure that I don't screw up that as a result, I do screw... show more
    So often at work, I meet a client or someone else who I like and who is important for my career, but I just can't get myself to give a beaming, nice smile. I try to smile, but my face tightens up and I probably don't look too thrilled. I'm probably so focused on needing to ensure that I don't screw up that as a result, I do screw up. How can I train myself to give warm, relaxed smiles to people? Thanks.
    Etiquette · 2 months ago
  • Amazing discovery, particularly for women who go to the gym!?

    A lot of people may not realize this, but particularly women who go to the gym with friends or see friends there: AMAZING DISCOVERY Simply being inside the gym does not lead to better health, weight loss, etc. You have to not only be inside the gym but also stop talking and use the exercise equipment! Wow, a lot of people don't know... show more
    A lot of people may not realize this, but particularly women who go to the gym with friends or see friends there: AMAZING DISCOVERY Simply being inside the gym does not lead to better health, weight loss, etc. You have to not only be inside the gym but also stop talking and use the exercise equipment! Wow, a lot of people don't know this--it's a life-changing discovery!
    2 answers · Diet & Fitness · 2 months ago
  • OK to scold family member who posted "secret" trip on Facebook, resulting in relatives finding out?

    A sibling came to my town on vacation. Another relative was supposed to come at the same time, but the sibling dislikes the other relative, so I persuaded the relative to come another time. Everything I told the relative was true; I just didn't mention the sibling coming. When the sibling came to town, the sibling posted on Facebook,... show more
    A sibling came to my town on vacation. Another relative was supposed to come at the same time, but the sibling dislikes the other relative, so I persuaded the relative to come another time. Everything I told the relative was true; I just didn't mention the sibling coming. When the sibling came to town, the sibling posted on Facebook, "I'm having dinner at Restaurant Le Fancy". The only person who would be able to get the sibling into Restaurant Le Fancy was me (long story). The sibling is friends with the relative on Facebook, so the relative found out that the sibling came to town and that the trip wasn't mentioned to the relative. To me, it's totally stupid of the sibling to have posted that on Facebook. OK to scold the sibling a bit- "Relative found out about the trip through Facebook- I didn't tell Relative, and I don't use Facebook. That shouldn't have happened."? Thanks.
    Etiquette · 2 months ago
  • Taking relatives to private dinner club where non-members can’t really pay, and now they invite friends: mention payment in advance?

    I have relatives in town, and we are going to dinner tonight. I mentioned going to a private club where I am a member, and they said yes. At the club, typically only members can pay (you just give your member number to the waiter; there’s no check at the end of the meal). I think that non-members might be able to pay somehow, but it must be an... show more
    I have relatives in town, and we are going to dinner tonight. I mentioned going to a private club where I am a member, and they said yes. At the club, typically only members can pay (you just give your member number to the waiter; there’s no check at the end of the meal). I think that non-members might be able to pay somehow, but it must be an ordeal (you probably have to go to the reception desk and work it out). I want to pay for dinner for my relatives and I don’t mind covering their friends, although it might be awkward: a lot of people don’t realize that only members can really pay. So should I tell the relatives in advance that it’s on me and that non-members can’t pay? They could tell their friends and would probably just tell them to bring cash to pay me back. We’re all generous. I just don’t want an awkward moment when the friends realize, after dinner is done, that they can’t pay.
    7 answers · Etiquette · 2 months ago
  • Why don't the police simply stop enforcing the law against African-Americans?

    There have been so many recent examples of African-Americans being victimized by the police. Why don't the police simply stop enforcing the law against African-Americans? That would end any concerns of police brutality and would show that "black lives matter" as they most certainly do!
    There have been so many recent examples of African-Americans being victimized by the police. Why don't the police simply stop enforcing the law against African-Americans? That would end any concerns of police brutality and would show that "black lives matter" as they most certainly do!
    1 answer · Law Enforcement & Police · 2 months ago
  • IPhone 6s uses lots of data and battery quickly runs low: how to fix?

    I have an iPhone 6s that is perhaps 2 years old. For the past 6 weeks, it has been using a lot of data if I use the Internet using cellular data (rather than WiFi); for example, browsing a few sites last night used 221 MBs of data in about 4 minutes. The battery also very quickly runs low. Is there a way to fix this? This happened in the past a... show more
    I have an iPhone 6s that is perhaps 2 years old. For the past 6 weeks, it has been using a lot of data if I use the Internet using cellular data (rather than WiFi); for example, browsing a few sites last night used 221 MBs of data in about 4 minutes. The battery also very quickly runs low. Is there a way to fix this? This happened in the past a few times when I had used a lot of data (not realizing that I needed to shut off cellular data and use WiFi only), but the issues always stopped within a few weeks, perhaps once that billing cycle was done. This time, however, I used a lot of data in March and the issues are still going on, more than a month later. Thanks.
    2 answers · Cell Phones & Plans · 2 months ago
  • OK to have supported Paul Nehlen for Congress in 2016 (currently known as an anti-Semite/white supremacist)?

    I discovered that a friend of mine gave a significant amount of cash to Congressional candidate Paul Nehlen in 2016. He ran against Speaker Paul Ryan and lost. Paul Nehlen is now known as a white supremacist and anti-Semite and has been evicted from the Republican Party. A decent person can't support someone like that now, but how about in... show more
    I discovered that a friend of mine gave a significant amount of cash to Congressional candidate Paul Nehlen in 2016. He ran against Speaker Paul Ryan and lost. Paul Nehlen is now known as a white supremacist and anti-Semite and has been evicted from the Republican Party. A decent person can't support someone like that now, but how about in 2016- was he just a fringe candidate then but not known as a white supremacist? I'm asking because I obviously cannot be friends with someone who knowingly supports a white supremacist and anti-Semite, but if Paul Nehlen wasn't known that way in 2016, maybe it was OK then. Thanks.
    2 answers · Politics · 2 months ago
  • What about Democrats bugs you the most?

    For me, Democrats' insistence on raising taxes, expanding government and reducing freedom, as the default method to solve problems, instead of considering private sector involvement and personal responsibility, bugs me to no end. Why not let the private sector try to solve problems, and why not suggest that people work to get things, rather... show more
    For me, Democrats' insistence on raising taxes, expanding government and reducing freedom, as the default method to solve problems, instead of considering private sector involvement and personal responsibility, bugs me to no end. Why not let the private sector try to solve problems, and why not suggest that people work to get things, rather than taking stuff from others? What about Democrats bugs you the most?
    2 answers · Politics · 2 months ago
  • Will Donald Trump wake up one day in horror, realizing that he could have loved and dignified others instead of hating them?

    I became a Christian as an adult, and had a mini-crisis, horrified by all of the bad things that I had done, and continued to do. It was a terrible experience, realizing all of the harm that I had done. Will Donald Trump one day be hit with the realization that he's treated people like garbage and spread so much hate and division, while he... show more
    I became a Christian as an adult, and had a mini-crisis, horrified by all of the bad things that I had done, and continued to do. It was a terrible experience, realizing all of the harm that I had done. Will Donald Trump one day be hit with the realization that he's treated people like garbage and spread so much hate and division, while he could have instead done so much good in the world?
    11 answers · Politics · 3 months ago
  • If you're fit, do you avoid socializing with obese people? Or do you have obese friends?

    I'm 6'2" and 175 pounds (judge for yourself- not skinny, but not overweight), and as I age, I increasingly am turned off by middle-aged people who are obese. If you're young and obese but otherwise attractive, it's one thing, but aging + obesity together make for unattractiveness. I prefer not to socialize with fat people now.... show more
    I'm 6'2" and 175 pounds (judge for yourself- not skinny, but not overweight), and as I age, I increasingly am turned off by middle-aged people who are obese. If you're young and obese but otherwise attractive, it's one thing, but aging + obesity together make for unattractiveness. I prefer not to socialize with fat people now. How about you?
    7 answers · Friends · 3 months ago
  • If you're Christian but don't believe in heaven and/or hell: why not?

    At a church event yesterday, I was surprised to see that a lot of my fellow congregants don't believe in hell. Some don't even believe in an afterlife, or they're not sure. I certainly believe in heaven and hell: * The Bible specifically mentions both heaven and hell. * My grandfather was clinically dead for a bit and experienced the... show more
    At a church event yesterday, I was surprised to see that a lot of my fellow congregants don't believe in hell. Some don't even believe in an afterlife, or they're not sure. I certainly believe in heaven and hell: * The Bible specifically mentions both heaven and hell. * My grandfather was clinically dead for a bit and experienced the afterlife, and he described it. There are plenty of people who've had near-death experiences, and their experiences seem consistent. So, if you're a Christian and don't believe in hell- and/or heaven and an afterlife generally- why not? I'm legitimately curious.
    19 answers · Religion & Spirituality · 3 months ago
  • Would you go to this wedding, and would this excuse be OK?

    My cousin, who I haven't seen in 6 years, is getting married. He comes to my town every now and then and doesn't contact me, but somehow I got a wedding invitation, a 3 hour flight away, requiring a hotel room, and no date (I'm single). Would you go? I've told my parents that I'll house-sit for them so that they can go;... show more
    My cousin, who I haven't seen in 6 years, is getting married. He comes to my town every now and then and doesn't contact me, but somehow I got a wedding invitation, a 3 hour flight away, requiring a hotel room, and no date (I'm single). Would you go? I've told my parents that I'll house-sit for them so that they can go; they're also a 3-hour flight away, but a weekend in their nice big house...WITH THEIR DOG, who I'm crazy about, sounds totally relaxing. They agreed. My mother is telling people, "John can't make it to the wedding because he had agreed to dog-sit for us so that we could go." Isn't that offensive? Shouldn't she just say, "he has a conflict and couldn't make it?" Thanks.
    20 answers · Weddings · 3 months ago