• How to dress to flatter my body?

    I'd always felt like I didn't have the best body. Then I moved into this dorm with a full body mirror and realized that I do have quite a bit to work with. I thought it was just good lighting until I put on my clothes, which made me look as mediocre as ever. It's the clothes that are the problem. I'm 61.85 inches tall and weigh 110... show more
    I'd always felt like I didn't have the best body. Then I moved into this dorm with a full body mirror and realized that I do have quite a bit to work with. I thought it was just good lighting until I put on my clothes, which made me look as mediocre as ever. It's the clothes that are the problem. I'm 61.85 inches tall and weigh 110 lbs. I am pear-shaped and have large thighs, but the right pants make it apparent that they're well-muscled as well as having stored fat. I have visible muscle in my arms and legs (and a bit in my stomach), and my shoulders are fairly broad. I have a large rib cage (big lungs-good for running) and as a result, they stick out a bit further than my stomach in front of me (does that mean I shouldn't wear crop tops? It's not like you can see individual ribs or anything). I am a B-cup. My hips are pretty good (hip to waist ratio-wise) but my bottom is not very good- it's where most of my fat goes, and not in a flattering way. You can't see any muscle on it. How does one dress for this body?
    2 answers · Fashion & Accessories · 1 week ago
  • Heterosexual women: is this normal?

    I am 18. Up until a while ago, I thought I was bisexual, but as of late I've been wondering if I might be a lesbian. I mean, men are handsome, but... well, here's a list of the things that are giving me misgivings. Are these normal for women who are attracted to men? Have you or other heterosexual women you know experienced any of... show more
    I am 18. Up until a while ago, I thought I was bisexual, but as of late I've been wondering if I might be a lesbian. I mean, men are handsome, but... well, here's a list of the things that are giving me misgivings. Are these normal for women who are attracted to men? Have you or other heterosexual women you know experienced any of these? -Thinking of male genitalia and semen as disgusting, almost as one would think of another person's spit or blood? -Imagining heterosexual sex and being disgusted or freaked out by it? -Not developing an interest in boys until long after your peers (we're talking 15, here)? -In youth, pretending to have crushes on boys to appear normal or get attention from peers? -Thinking of heterosexual sex as something dreaded you'll have to do to maintain a relationship. Thinking that way while single: not towards a specific person but in general. I've had one sexual experience with each gender. The one with the woman was very pleasant, and the one with the man was not, but both were entirely consensual. Anyhow, the list started before either experience. I come from a religious background, so many my disgust is just religious guilt or something? As a child, I thought that good Christians don't enjoy sex or have sexual thoughts (not something I was taught, came up with it on my own), so that could be it. None of this list applies to women, but I never assumed I'd be into them when I was a religious child. I am no longer religious, though.
  • How to be less emotionally dependent on your parents?

    I'm 18, and I've been accepted to my choice university an hour and a half from home. Objectively speaking, my life is pretty great. However, university has made me realize that I'm very emotionally dependent on my parents. I got very sad and homesick the first week I lived here, and was worried that I wouldn't be able to hide it when... show more
    I'm 18, and I've been accepted to my choice university an hour and a half from home. Objectively speaking, my life is pretty great. However, university has made me realize that I'm very emotionally dependent on my parents. I got very sad and homesick the first week I lived here, and was worried that I wouldn't be able to hide it when my parents came to visit, but I didn't have to. They showed up, and I stopped being sad. I had my energy back and life didn't seem impossible anymore. It's been like that ever since: I spend the weekend at home and get a lot done because I have all my motivation and energy back, try to carry it into the week with me. Over the week, getting myself to do anything seems to get harder. I start feeling sad all the time indulging in bad habits like eating to feel better or driving to the middle of nowhere to be away from my dorm room and responsibilities. Go home at the weekend, lather, rinse and repeat. Is this just transitory? Will it get better on its own (I have only been here three weeks)? Something has to change, as the way I act when I'm down isn't conductive to my goals. Again, objectively my life is good, so I shouldn't be getting so down all the time. I can't blame loneliness, because socially things have been just fine here. I can't even blame pressure: I got homesick before there even was any, and I've dealt with academic pressure worse than this before without getting like this. I don't know why this is happening.
    3 answers · Psychology · 1 month ago
  • How to be less of a wuss?

    2 answers · Sociology · 2 months ago
  • How to gain social skills?

    I am 18, am professionally diagnosed with a condition that means that I basically missed an Aspergers diagnosis by a hair and I've only really had a normal social life the past couple years. My social skills are the best they've ever been, but there is still work to be done, especially on conversationalism. I prefer to have multiple people... show more
    I am 18, am professionally diagnosed with a condition that means that I basically missed an Aspergers diagnosis by a hair and I've only really had a normal social life the past couple years. My social skills are the best they've ever been, but there is still work to be done, especially on conversationalism. I prefer to have multiple people over so that I don't make it awkward. I can work off others well, but I can't start a thing. I also need to learn how to deliver a joke, which I can't do at all. I can joke about a situation and work off of someone else, but just telling a joke never works. Essentially, I'm not entertaining to anyone unless a) there's other people around, or b) I know you really, really well. This has caused big problems for my romantic life. I've only had two relationships in my life (both within the last 18 months) neither have lasted longer than six weeks, and they've both ended because "we just didn't click" conversationally. I eventually want a husband and some children so I really need to fix this. How do I become better at social things, especially one on one conversation?
    2 answers · Psychology · 3 months ago
  • Is Dead Space (original) a good game?

    I'm just finishing up Dead Space 2 and it may just have be the most enjoyable and satisfying game I have ever played. How does the original compare? Is it any more difficult than its sequel? Is it as scary/good/poignant?
    I'm just finishing up Dead Space 2 and it may just have be the most enjoyable and satisfying game I have ever played. How does the original compare? Is it any more difficult than its sequel? Is it as scary/good/poignant?
    2 answers · Video & Online Games · 3 months ago
  • Word that means "extremely restless"?

    I'm trying to describe a frenzied man resisting arrest. He's behaving erratically, like an animal thrashing in its cage. He's feeling very claustrophobic and wants to be un-entrapped and unrestrained. I was going to use the word "cagey" until I learned that the definition of that word does not fit the situation at all. This is... show more
    I'm trying to describe a frenzied man resisting arrest. He's behaving erratically, like an animal thrashing in its cage. He's feeling very claustrophobic and wants to be un-entrapped and unrestrained. I was going to use the word "cagey" until I learned that the definition of that word does not fit the situation at all. This is for a fake newspaper BTW.
    3 answers · Words & Wordplay · 3 months ago
  • Where should I go from here, relationship-wise?

    I'm 18. My only relationship ended a few months ago. He was nice, and I wish that I'd put more into it even though I wasn't attracted to him. Honestly, the worst thing he did was convince me that I was desirable enough to get someone I actually loved. We dated for only a month, and broke up without much pain for either of us. It made me... show more
    I'm 18. My only relationship ended a few months ago. He was nice, and I wish that I'd put more into it even though I wasn't attracted to him. Honestly, the worst thing he did was convince me that I was desirable enough to get someone I actually loved. We dated for only a month, and broke up without much pain for either of us. It made me realize that I haven't done anything romantic or sexual for any reason but to feel desired or mature (except for making out with my female friend, but I'm not a lesbian and only want to date men). I also haven't been kissed by a boy in years. I'm a pretty lousy, undesirable excuse for a heterosexual, honestly. I have some baggage on top of being generally undesirable as well: I was born without a womb and with underdeveloped sex organs, so anyone who did want me would have accept waiting weeks before beginning a physical relationship and accept that if we are ever to have children, they'll be made in vitro and put in a surrogate, which is very expensive. I've pretty well given up on ever having an enjoyable romantic relationship. I just need a roommate who will be willing to have and raise kids with me. I don't know how to get that any way but attracting a mate, but honestly I don't know if that's even possible for me. I'd welcome an alternative, any alternative. I just don't want to die alone or be forced into single motherhood (and I will take that over nothing). It just needs to be functional. How do I go about acquiring it?
    1 answer · Singles & Dating · 4 months ago
  • What is it that makes people glamorize some mental illnesses?

    I'm interested in why people tend to glamorize psychopathy especially, but also depression, eating disorders, and self harm. No one would ever glamorized paranoid schizophrenia, anxiety, autism, or Down syndrome. What is the difference between a "glamorous" (though very much not in reality) mental illness and an... show more
    I'm interested in why people tend to glamorize psychopathy especially, but also depression, eating disorders, and self harm. No one would ever glamorized paranoid schizophrenia, anxiety, autism, or Down syndrome. What is the difference between a "glamorous" (though very much not in reality) mental illness and an "nonglamourous" one? The most obvious thing all these have in common is that they are seen as enhancing something good, such as charisma, sensitivity, or self-control. By contrast, the same can't be said about non-glamorous ones. These are traits associated with high humanity: cunning, perceiving, using; controlling, planning, setting goals, seeing and feeling deeply respectively. While in reality psychopaths live low, stunted lives most of the time, not to mention the crippling effects of depression and eating disorders, it can be seen how some naive people perceive these people as hyper-human in a way. There is no mistaking, however, that paranoid schizophrenia is a detriment to achieving human destiny, however one defines it. Is that the difference? Since the beginning of time, or at least religion, people were seen as being caught between our animal and angelic (high human) nature.
    8 answers · Mental Health · 4 months ago
  • How to stop being a bigot?

    I am bigoted against people on the autistic spectrum. Consider this my first step admission. Everything I say after this will be terribly offensive. I want to change it, but it is nonetheless my current beliefs and feelings. Consider that a trigger warning. My experiences with autistic people tell me that they make every experience they're in... show more
    I am bigoted against people on the autistic spectrum. Consider this my first step admission. Everything I say after this will be terribly offensive. I want to change it, but it is nonetheless my current beliefs and feelings. Consider that a trigger warning. My experiences with autistic people tell me that they make every experience they're in worse. Many are very neurotic. Many see people as a means to an end- like machines they have to provide the proper stimuli to receive a desired result. I've never had an experience with an autistic person who wasn't miserable with their condition. I've had two scary experiences with autistic people, but I don't judge them all by that, of course. I missed an Aspergers diagnosis by a hair at the age of nine, and once I learned about that, I developed a fear of having autistic children. It is my deepest fear. I only have one chance at a family, and I always see autism as being capable of ruining it. It would feel as though I was handed a useless burden that would take my years until I become too old for a real family- one that would accept touch, would speak to me, and would grow up properly. I know that most cases of autism aren't actually that severe- it's an irrational fear. I'm most scared of having to make it look like I'm thankful to have an autistic child, because my real thoughts make me a monster. I won't defend myself, my thoughts are evil and until I get over this I shouldn't have kids. How do I stop being hateful and afraid?
    4 answers · Mental Health · 5 months ago
  • Can I still bring my friend to fat acceptance meetings even though she lost weight?

    My friend recently ended up in the hospital (long story) and lost enough weight to be an "overweight" BMI (it went from 30 to 27). She was already the smallest one at the meetings and I don't think everyone was alright with her. But that's just a few people (powerful ones though) and she likes the place for socialization. She's... show more
    My friend recently ended up in the hospital (long story) and lost enough weight to be an "overweight" BMI (it went from 30 to 27). She was already the smallest one at the meetings and I don't think everyone was alright with her. But that's just a few people (powerful ones though) and she likes the place for socialization. She's worried that she won't be as welcome there anymore. She was maintaining before and is against doing anything to change her weight so she might take months to regain it all. I'm wondering if I should bring her and defend her or if I should encourage her not to go.
    5 answers · Diet & Fitness · 5 months ago
  • Up to what age is it appropriate to be disgusted by sex?

    I am 18, and I still have a negative visceral reaction to straight sex, even though I know it would feel good. Why could that be?
    I am 18, and I still have a negative visceral reaction to straight sex, even though I know it would feel good. Why could that be?
    12 answers · Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered · 5 months ago
  • Why do people like Invader Zim?

    I was into it in my mid-teens and felt compelled to return to it recently. I was expecting it to be awful- ugly, cruel, childish, faux-edgy, and poorly written with flat, obnoxious characters. I can't say I was wrong, but there's also a unique, irrational excitment to it that I felt just as strongly now as then. I thought that only an... show more
    I was into it in my mid-teens and felt compelled to return to it recently. I was expecting it to be awful- ugly, cruel, childish, faux-edgy, and poorly written with flat, obnoxious characters. I can't say I was wrong, but there's also a unique, irrational excitment to it that I felt just as strongly now as then. I thought that only an understimulated, edgy-wannabe teenager could love it, and that was pretty much its entire fandom, but now I must ask what makes this ugly wreck of a thing so palatable.
    1 answer · Other - Television · 5 months ago
  • How to summon a lemon?

    8 answers · Polls & Surveys · 5 months ago
  • Help. I am homosexual and want to be reformed. Where do I begin?

    I'd like to start out by saying that I am not religious and don't plan on becoming religious. My motivation for choosing heterosexuality is because I want the best for my future children. I've always wanted children, and I know that they need a father figure. I can't imagine being raised by two moms, let alone if I'd been a boy!... show more
    I'd like to start out by saying that I am not religious and don't plan on becoming religious. My motivation for choosing heterosexuality is because I want the best for my future children. I've always wanted children, and I know that they need a father figure. I can't imagine being raised by two moms, let alone if I'd been a boy! I have nothing against homosexuality in general, though. Just not for me. How do I change?
    8 answers · Mental Health · 5 months ago
  • Am I gay, or just brainwashed by sex ed?

    I thought I was straight (but with more girl crushes than is probably normal) up until last year, and that I was bisexual up until now, but I'm not so sure anymore. I've always been disgusted by the idea of having straight sex. It's normal for a child to be, though, and I thought it would be different once I actually experienced it.... show more
    I thought I was straight (but with more girl crushes than is probably normal) up until last year, and that I was bisexual up until now, but I'm not so sure anymore. I've always been disgusted by the idea of having straight sex. It's normal for a child to be, though, and I thought it would be different once I actually experienced it. Well, it wasn't. I think I like guys, but I don't like their parts and I really find semen disgusting- like, I would literally find the idea of having someone else's blood in my body less disgusting. It's no fault of my boyfriend's, but I felt contaminated after I tried sex. I wonder if it has to do with the fact that I was taught in sex ed that it has a higher concentration of infectious organisms than any other bodily fluid, among other things told to us to make straight sex seem as gross and unpleasant as possible which I know are probably lies. I'm not at all disgusted by the thought of sex with a woman. Though, that could just be because I was never conditioned to be. I do like the way women look, maybe more so than men. I'm 18 if that affects anything.
    4 answers · Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered · 6 months ago
  • Which film should I choose for a Netflix and Chill situation?

    Okay, so I'm a physically attractive but socially compromised guy who's only ever had Tinder sex, never a had girl over. Today I was feeling bold and actually have one coming to my place to watch a movie this Friday. I'm not sure if this is a "first date situation" or a "Netflix and chill situation." To be safe,... show more
    Okay, so I'm a physically attractive but socially compromised guy who's only ever had Tinder sex, never a had girl over. Today I was feeling bold and actually have one coming to my place to watch a movie this Friday. I'm not sure if this is a "first date situation" or a "Netflix and chill situation." To be safe, I'm creating and protocols for both. I've picked up two films from the library for this scenario: Bambi and A Clockwork Orange. I could not tell if this girl is one who already enjoys sex or if she needs some coaxing out of her sexual shell. I remember how I was coaxed out of my sexual shell at fifteen when I first watched A Clockwork Orange with my family. I had seen so much more than before afterward, and in such graphic mechanical fashion that it felt as though I could lose my virginity the next day and it wouldn't change my life. It was demystified, as mundane as eating. If she is a virgin, that is the better choice, unless her stomach is weak to violence. If not, Bambi will put her in the mood, as it is all about the beauty of nature and all we can experience and provide each other. A "Netflix and Chill" situation is the less scary of the two, and I really just need to know four things: 1) how do I tell if this is, in fact, a "Netflix and chill" situation? 2) how do I tell if she is virginal? 3) what do I say and when to initiate sex? 4) what to do if she is sickened by the violence of A Clockwork Orange? Offering Bambi would seem condescending in this situation.
    4 answers · Singles & Dating · 6 months ago