• Boyfriend needs constant change in his life...?

    My boyfriend, in his 35+ years, has never had a job for more than 2-3 years, never had an apartment for longer than a couple of years and same with relationships. We've been together over a year and he swears he's happy with me, that I'm "perfect", but he's unhappy in his life because he keeps needing other changes - he... show more
    My boyfriend, in his 35+ years, has never had a job for more than 2-3 years, never had an apartment for longer than a couple of years and same with relationships. We've been together over a year and he swears he's happy with me, that I'm "perfect", but he's unhappy in his life because he keeps needing other changes - he wants a new job and to move to another apartment (he gave up one because of his lease, so now he's living with his mom after briefly living with me a few months). He doesn't understand why I'm upset that he always wants change in his life. I'm the opposite - I've had 2 stable jobs over the past 15 years and lived in my place for 10 years. I like stability and knowing I'm secure. While I love being with my BF and we hardly argue about values and commitment, I"m afraid that down the line, if we move into a new place together and he gets a new job, it'l only be a matter of time before he's bored with THOSE situations as well. He doesn't think something like this should stop us from being together (which seems naive to not comprehend). "I don't know what I want, all I know is I want to be with you." Is what he says. That's nice and all, but I don't want my future to be with someone who's never satisfied with their job/apartment or living situation. How else can I explain to him (maybe in guy terms) that it's unhealthy for me to go in this revolving door of uncertainty with him going forward?
    2 answers · Other - Family & Relationships · 1 week ago
  • Co-workers are too personal with me?

    I work in the reception portion of a pretty big office and it's a big company. I've been there for almost 2 years, but have NOT made my personal life peoples' business - I don't share my interests and people KNOW I want to be private (I learned that from being too personal at my last job of 12 years). In an effort to stay... show more
    I work in the reception portion of a pretty big office and it's a big company. I've been there for almost 2 years, but have NOT made my personal life peoples' business - I don't share my interests and people KNOW I want to be private (I learned that from being too personal at my last job of 12 years). In an effort to stay professional, I don't chit chat with my associates. But they comment on everything they see about me - what I happen to be munching on during my breaks (when they see me sitting alone) and what I buy from the store (I bought papertowels for my home and one of the VPs asked me a handful of questions about where I bought them and how am I getting them home - on the train??) I know they want to get to know me and be sociable, but it's really not neccessary, as I feel I'm not at this job to make friends - I'm here to work and do my job. I also don't work closely with these people 8 hours a day - I may see them 15 minutes one day and don't feel like being interrogated about my personal activities. Is there a nice way to answer them when they start ambushing me with questions about when I made my lunch and where I go food shopping?? WHat's the etiquette to make it clear they've crossed boundaries for me?
    9 answers · Etiquette · 2 weeks ago
  • How can I end the relationship after all this?

    My boyfriend and I have been together over a year. He moved in with me after he lost his lease last summer and I thought it would be great. BUT he's not happy "in my space" and wants to get a better job and a place of his own that I would move into with him eventually. He said he's unhappy being at my place every day and is in a... show more
    My boyfriend and I have been together over a year. He moved in with me after he lost his lease last summer and I thought it would be great. BUT he's not happy "in my space" and wants to get a better job and a place of his own that I would move into with him eventually. He said he's unhappy being at my place every day and is in a bad "routine". He's going to move back to his mother's house while he "figures out" what he needs to do. I want to be there for him - as he said this feeling has nothing to do with us or me, but doesn't it? How can I end it when he leaves and tell him how his moving out effects the long term of our relationship?
    2 answers · Other - Family & Relationships · 2 weeks ago
  • Boyfriend is in a "rut" living with me...?

    My boyfriend moved in with me last summer because he didn't want to renew the lease on his apartment and it was great that we shared space and both saved money. We've been together a little over a year now but he's feeling "trapped" and like he wants his own space again where he can put all of his belongings (which are now at... show more
    My boyfriend moved in with me last summer because he didn't want to renew the lease on his apartment and it was great that we shared space and both saved money. We've been together a little over a year now but he's feeling "trapped" and like he wants his own space again where he can put all of his belongings (which are now at his mothers). He also said he feels like it's a routine every day coming home doing the same thing (this is HIS issue, as I have projects and hobbies and sometimes go out on evening jobs). He's proposing to go back home and live with his mother while he "figures things out" where his job and financed are concerned. We're both in our mid 30s and I'm wondering how I can have a future and spend my life with someone who feels coming home to my place or to every day is a "rut" and "routine" that stops him from being productive. He knows he wants his own apartment again and for me to move into a new place with HIM, but why should I give up MY place if he can't figure things out at this point in his life? He said it's NOT me - that I'm "perfect" and he doesn't want to change our relationship, just better himself and his job situation. How will moving back home to his mother help him with this? I'm on the verge of telling him to go to his mothers and then breaking up with him since he's putting me through this roller coaster. How can I approach this?
    2 answers · Singles & Dating · 2 weeks ago
  • He's not romantic or flirty- WTF?

    When I'm with my bf, he's loving and affectionate and says all these romantic things. However, when we don't see each other for days at a time, he NEVER flirts on text, rarely says he misses me and it's like he's chatting with a guy friend. We've been together a year now and he's been this way the whole time, but now... show more
    When I'm with my bf, he's loving and affectionate and says all these romantic things. However, when we don't see each other for days at a time, he NEVER flirts on text, rarely says he misses me and it's like he's chatting with a guy friend. We've been together a year now and he's been this way the whole time, but now I'm wondering why he's like this. Any ideas?
    1 answer · Singles & Dating · 2 months ago
  • Stay with a man to change him?

    Survey-wise - do more women stay with men who are bad for them hoping the men will change - or do they stay with them because they're desperately lonely?
    Survey-wise - do more women stay with men who are bad for them hoping the men will change - or do they stay with them because they're desperately lonely?
    2 answers · Polls & Surveys · 2 months ago
  • I'm NEVER a morning person. Help!?

    I have to wake up around 5:30-6 a.m. to be at work. No matter how early I go to sleep - can be 8-9 at night, I'm ALWAYS tired in the morning and can't actually "wake up" til around 11. I have to be 'on' the next few days at work and I'm trying to be alert, have coffee and a healthy breakfast of fruit/cereal to start my... show more
    I have to wake up around 5:30-6 a.m. to be at work. No matter how early I go to sleep - can be 8-9 at night, I'm ALWAYS tired in the morning and can't actually "wake up" til around 11. I have to be 'on' the next few days at work and I'm trying to be alert, have coffee and a healthy breakfast of fruit/cereal to start my day right, but I'm constantly dragging myself in the morning unless I'm up at 7 or 8 a.m. I also exercise a lot, go to the gym and run as often as I can to keep my physical health in check - but it' not helping me peel myself out of bed in the morning any faster.
    3 answers · Other - Health · 3 months ago
  • What does it mean if a man has to "figure things in his life out?"?

    My boyfriend moved in with me a few months ago, but he recently decided to move back home to his mother's to "figure out" what he wants. He claims he wants to spend his life with me but also wants to "figure out" professionally and wants to make enough money to get an apartment where I'd move in with him. Aparently,... show more
    My boyfriend moved in with me a few months ago, but he recently decided to move back home to his mother's to "figure out" what he wants. He claims he wants to spend his life with me but also wants to "figure out" professionally and wants to make enough money to get an apartment where I'd move in with him. Aparently, living with me makes him feel like he's in a rut in "my space". He's miserable with his job and wants big change. Since he's moved out, we still spend time together and plan a lot of things for the future, but how is moving back home with his mother going to help him "figure life out"? We're in our mid 30s -- this is the time to have a stable foundation. I feel like he's sending me mixed signals.
    1 answer · Other - Family & Relationships · 3 months ago
  • When you're scarred by your past experiences...?

    So far in my life, I've been in 3 serious relationships (I'm in my late 30s) and I'd hoped that those relationships were going to lead to marriage etc. While my exes were the ones who stone walled me and dumped me after about a year and a half (one called it quits after our on and off relationship of 6 years). Suffice to say, I feel like... show more
    So far in my life, I've been in 3 serious relationships (I'm in my late 30s) and I'd hoped that those relationships were going to lead to marriage etc. While my exes were the ones who stone walled me and dumped me after about a year and a half (one called it quits after our on and off relationship of 6 years). Suffice to say, I feel like I KNOW when something isn't right since I have experience in seeing the decline of a relationship. My current boyfriend is pulling some of the things on me that my exes pulled right before things ended..saying things like "We need to miss each other" or "I can't tell you how to feel," "I don't know what to say." I told him upfront that I've heard all these lines before from my exes and I get the feeling he's another one that's going to bite the dust :( He says he wants to be with me, but has moved out of our place to be with his mother "temporarily" to help her after she had minor foot surgery. I'm extremely skeptical! We've been together a year and I'm very happy with everything - but I still get a sense he's using his mother to get away from me and do what my exes did, pull away and end the relationship. He's following the pattern from my past - so how do I deal with this??
    4 answers · Psychology · 3 months ago
  • How to talk to a socially awkward coworker?

    There's a girl who covers my lunch shifts and the shift when I leave my job in the evening. Everyone at the company feels she is not the brightest crayon in the box - he manager even called her a "space cadet" and she's cost the company hundreds of dollars because she is very slow and incompetent. I believe the only reason... show more
    There's a girl who covers my lunch shifts and the shift when I leave my job in the evening. Everyone at the company feels she is not the brightest crayon in the box - he manager even called her a "space cadet" and she's cost the company hundreds of dollars because she is very slow and incompetent. I believe the only reason she's kept her job is because her manager feels bad for her. I have VERY awkward conversation with this girl. She asks me how was my weekend on a Thursday when I just saw her the day before and she asks how my run at the gym went on my lunch break - and if they have any classes there, which I told her 3 times there are NO classes. She really seems to have problems processing information and it feels strange to talk to her even casually. How do you get through talking to someone who's socially awkward like this??
    6 answers · Etiquette · 3 months ago
  • Can someone love "too intensely?"?

    My boyfriend says I love "too intensely" and that I've become too emotional. While I'm in my late 30s and have had 3 relationships so far where I thought I would settle down with the person, my boyfriend hasn't had a very deep or serious relationship where he felt that way for someone. He says I give "too much" of... show more
    My boyfriend says I love "too intensely" and that I've become too emotional. While I'm in my late 30s and have had 3 relationships so far where I thought I would settle down with the person, my boyfriend hasn't had a very deep or serious relationship where he felt that way for someone. He says I give "too much" of myself and am consentrating on spending too much time with him and dedicating too much of myself to our relationship when I should have "my own life" and enjoy time alone. I honestly feel I've been alone so much in my life, it's getting old and boring - and I express that I love someone by being intense and very involved with them. When you love someone, don't you include them and involve them in most of your life? My boyfriend's only a year or so younger than me, but his lack of experience makes me feel like he thinks I'm obsessed with him when all I really want is a stable partner to share my life with. Maybe he is too immature to understand that???
    1 answer · Singles & Dating · 3 months ago
  • Sexually frustrated with my boyfriend's absence...?

    When my boyfriend moved in with me months ago, we had sex all the time and I really grew accustom to having someone to sleep next to and wake up next to - my quality of sleep and life just felt better with him there overall. A couple of weeks ago, he moved back home with his mother to take care of her and I'm now feeling extremely frustrated... show more
    When my boyfriend moved in with me months ago, we had sex all the time and I really grew accustom to having someone to sleep next to and wake up next to - my quality of sleep and life just felt better with him there overall. A couple of weeks ago, he moved back home with his mother to take care of her and I'm now feeling extremely frustrated sexually and physically. I see him on the weekends, but I was used to coming home to him every night and having his presence there. I don't want to complain to him that I'm frustrated because we had the discussion that he said this is "only temporary" and he's coming back, BUT he's more than fine with the lack of our physical connection as a result of him moving back home. I don't want to cheat on him, but I'm missing that sense of companionship during the night and I'm very physically frustrated :( What do I tell him? It's not going to make him come back to me since his mother needs him there most of the time.
    1 answer · Notices and Errors · 3 months ago
  • What's the deal with men in long-term relationships getting "bored of routines"?

    In my last long-term relationship I had with the intentions of settling down with a guy, my ex dumped me in the end, saying he was "tired of our routine" and that we needed to "miss" each other. While HE was the one who said he wanted to marry me and have children, he got bored of us a year and half into our relationship and... show more
    In my last long-term relationship I had with the intentions of settling down with a guy, my ex dumped me in the end, saying he was "tired of our routine" and that we needed to "miss" each other. While HE was the one who said he wanted to marry me and have children, he got bored of us a year and half into our relationship and ended it. Now I've been with my current boyfriend for a year and he's also giving me the " we need to miss each other" speech. In BOTH relationships, things were pretty fresh, so I thought. Me and my boyfriend now live together, but we have date night once a week, we do our own thing - we're not always together and we enjoy things separately all the time. We don't have a routine, but I keep hearing men getting bored of the life they have with one woman. What happened to the old days when couples were married for 60 years and didn't entertain being "bored of each other". Is this a generational thing??
    2 answers · Singles & Dating · 3 months ago
  • Bitter thoughts about the future of our relationship?

    My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. He moved in with me in June because his apartment lease was up and we saw it as an opportunity to save money and enjoy more time sharing a life together. It was going really well and we had a good balance of everything. Recently, his mother had a foot operation and he used this as a chance to go back... show more
    My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. He moved in with me in June because his apartment lease was up and we saw it as an opportunity to save money and enjoy more time sharing a life together. It was going really well and we had a good balance of everything. Recently, his mother had a foot operation and he used this as a chance to go back home for a while and take care of her. He ALSO has been feeling like he misses his own apartment and "space" even though my apartment is half empty and he has plenty of time to himself there when I'm not home. He says moving back home with his mother is a "good change" for him since he is also miserable with his job and where he is in his life. He claims this feeling has nothing to do with me, that this move is only for a few weeks - but now that I'm realizing how much he misses his own apartment, I'm thinking he's not mature enough for a "marriage" type of situation. We've invested a lot in this relationship, but I think it's time he do his own thing and figure out what he wants in life. I"m going to see him this weekend and feel so angry and upset that he feels time apart from me is growing us (which it's not - it's making me second guess our compatability). I want to be understanding of him and his time taking care of his mother, but something just seems off that he thinks going home to mommy will help us "miss" each other and be a good change. Do I end things with him, and how???
    3 answers · Singles & Dating · 3 months ago
  • Friend with depression finds it hard to communicate with me?

    My friend in Australia suffers from depression. She says she is on meds - but she's not seeing a therapist or any professionals to deal with her anxiety and depression. I've been friends with her for almost 10 years and she comes to the states to stay with me once a year or so. Her communication and her words are very strange to me. She... show more
    My friend in Australia suffers from depression. She says she is on meds - but she's not seeing a therapist or any professionals to deal with her anxiety and depression. I've been friends with her for almost 10 years and she comes to the states to stay with me once a year or so. Her communication and her words are very strange to me. She always sounds sarcastic and always speaks passive-agressive, like she's sticking it to me in our e-mails. She also lied to me in real life, saying she was fine with me doing my own thing when she came her -- then when she got back home she complained about all of the things that bothered her about me when she was here. All of her messages sound strange and when I approached her, she said she doesn't know how else to express herself. But the interactions/comments she makes are downright selfish and odd sounding. How can I stay friends with her and be there for her if her depression causes her to respond in ways that are mean and sarcastic?? Does anyone know if depression causes people to respond this way all the time??
    4 answers · Friends · 3 months ago
  • My BF keeps me at a distance from his family?

    My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. I've had short meetings with his brother and only met his mother once. Our relationship is pretty mature, as we've moved in together and we share a lot in life together, but he's still keeping me at a distance from his family - never incorporating me in birthday outings or family dinners.... show more
    My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. I've had short meetings with his brother and only met his mother once. Our relationship is pretty mature, as we've moved in together and we share a lot in life together, but he's still keeping me at a distance from his family - never incorporating me in birthday outings or family dinners. His excuse is, "yeah you can come, but my family is sooo annoying and loud, I want to spare you the experience." As a result of him keeping me at a distance, I've NOT introduced him to my mother and sister. I don't want to introduce my family to him and get them involved in my relationship when he's drawn the line at family involvement. What should I make of his keeping things separate? His mother likes me from what she knows and SHE has invited me to come to gatherings, but he tells her I have things going on.. WTF!
    11 answers · Family · 3 months ago
  • Long-term effects of us having "healthy space." ?

    My boyfriend and I are in our mid 30s and have been together for a year. We moved in together a few months ago and he's feeling like he needs some time away to "miss me" and feels "healthy space" will be good for us. We don't fight, we get along well and we make a good team. He's staying with his mother now, who had... show more
    My boyfriend and I are in our mid 30s and have been together for a year. We moved in together a few months ago and he's feeling like he needs some time away to "miss me" and feels "healthy space" will be good for us. We don't fight, we get along well and we make a good team. He's staying with his mother now, who had minor foot surgery, as a way of getting healthy space. I'm having second thoughts about our future together now. WHy would I want to invest any more time in someone who needs space from me? He's still staying in our place over the weekend and said after a month he'll move back in with me, but he feels he wants a change in his life. How can I tell him this isn't good for a long-term relationship or marriage if he feels like he needs change. I was honest that I'm very unhappy with his decision to move out for a month and not grow our relationship, but he thinks it's no big deal. How can I deal with this uncertainy about our future? We've invested a lot of time, emotion and money in being together and it now doesn't seem worth any more energy. :(
    3 answers · Singles & Dating · 3 months ago
  • Trying to "unfriend" someone!?

    I've been friends with this woman in Australia for about 7 years. She comes here every other year and we used to get along well. Lately, and after her last visit in May, I don't feel like I connect with her any more. I've tried to distance myself and tell her I have a lot going on - but I honestly don't see the value in our... show more
    I've been friends with this woman in Australia for about 7 years. She comes here every other year and we used to get along well. Lately, and after her last visit in May, I don't feel like I connect with her any more. I've tried to distance myself and tell her I have a lot going on - but I honestly don't see the value in our deteriorating friendship, We have nothing in common any more and my interests have changed. How do I tell her to stop communicating with me and that I've outgrown our friendship?
    2 answers · Friends · 4 months ago
  • Underpaid to do work I wasn't assigned to take on at new company!?

    A job agency hooked me up with a company to do administrative work. The agency is paying me a little over minimum wage during the trial 90-day period while I'm employed by the company. However, now the company is having me cover reception and train to do all of the receptionists work in addition to the administrative role I was contracted to do.... show more
    A job agency hooked me up with a company to do administrative work. The agency is paying me a little over minimum wage during the trial 90-day period while I'm employed by the company. However, now the company is having me cover reception and train to do all of the receptionists work in addition to the administrative role I was contracted to do. I only accepted the job to fill the administrative role. I'm ok with doing reception work - but for the money they are paying me, it's overwhelming to take on both roles within the first week of being employed. What can I tell the agency? I feel I was duped into taking the position when I'll be doing a lot more than I'm being compensated for?
    7 answers · Law & Ethics · 5 months ago
  • How is the job market for administrative work in California?

    I've lived in New York all my life and am researching the best places to move where I can have a stable career. I was the editor of a newspaper for over 10 years and I'm NOT into the media anymore. I've worked for a fashion company doing administrative work for a year and a half and really enjoyed the busy hustling of the city. Are... show more
    I've lived in New York all my life and am researching the best places to move where I can have a stable career. I was the editor of a newspaper for over 10 years and I'm NOT into the media anymore. I've worked for a fashion company doing administrative work for a year and a half and really enjoyed the busy hustling of the city. Are there a lot of administrative jobs in California if I were to look for them in cities there, and if so where would I start even if I stayed on the west coast for a while to pursue my job hunt?
    1 answer · Other - Careers & Employment · 5 months ago