• Co-workers have type A personalities!?

    I've been at my administrative assistant job for 2 years after being in the news industry for 12 years, so now I am calm and know what "panic" situations are (shootings, stabbings, accidents.etc). I now work in the fashion industry and some of my co-workers, who put in 12 hours a day, are extremely high strung, ambushing me about... show more
    I've been at my administrative assistant job for 2 years after being in the news industry for 12 years, so now I am calm and know what "panic" situations are (shootings, stabbings, accidents.etc). I now work in the fashion industry and some of my co-workers, who put in 12 hours a day, are extremely high strung, ambushing me about menial things like sign-out sheets and copy paper. I don't deal well with people who are high strung and panic over small things since I've been in a lot worse situations being on deadline for a newspaper. I try to assure to help these co-workers but they are stressed and hyper and want me to be the same way. I'm close to walking out of the office and quitting, the tension is so high. How do I handle these people??
    1 answer · Other - Family & Relationships · 5 days ago
  • Am I growing apart from my boyfriend?

    When my bf and I lived together for a few months last year, I felt super close to him and so passionate about our future. He wound up moving out earlier this year simply because he "missed" having his own space and felt like he was in a rut living in my apartment (there was no fighting or bad words). In the past couple of months, having... show more
    When my bf and I lived together for a few months last year, I felt super close to him and so passionate about our future. He wound up moving out earlier this year simply because he "missed" having his own space and felt like he was in a rut living in my apartment (there was no fighting or bad words). In the past couple of months, having ample time to myself, I answered an Instagram message from my married ex (who's now getting a divorce). I don't flirt with my ex since we've known each other over 10 years - but my bf having moved out sort of made me feel "single" again. We text a lot and see each other on the weekends, but the dynamic has changed since we're not living together. Am I right in feeling this distance now?
    4 answers · Singles & Dating · 3 weeks ago
  • Moving in together again a bad idea?

    My boyfriend moved in with me last year in June when he lost his apt lease, then he missed having his own space and felt like he was too emersed in "my environment" so he moved back home to his mom's earlier this year while he looks for a better job to get a better place for himself. He feels like it's "all of my stuff"... show more
    My boyfriend moved in with me last year in June when he lost his apt lease, then he missed having his own space and felt like he was too emersed in "my environment" so he moved back home to his mom's earlier this year while he looks for a better job to get a better place for himself. He feels like it's "all of my stuff" in my apartment and misses his own space. At the same time, when he gets his own place, he wants ME to move in with HIM, and then it will generate more issues I'm sure since I'll be in HIS space. I've lived with men before and "alone time" is now overratted. I'm completely happy in other aspects of our relationship, but I don't EVER see us living together permanently in each other's "space." Is it logical, in our mid-30s to JUST keep dating and not get married or ever move in together?? I LOVE my apartment - it's HUGE and warm and the rent is soo cheap, but it's not a 'home' to him :(
    1 answer · Singles & Dating · 3 weeks ago
  • Etiquette on payment for my freelance work?

    I'm a reporter for a small newspaper. I have a few civic meeting a month that I cover and all freelance reporters get paid at the end of the month (we submit a bill at the end of the month and usually get a check by the first week of the following month.) Sadly, my boss - who is in charge of writing the checks and confirming everyone's... show more
    I'm a reporter for a small newspaper. I have a few civic meeting a month that I cover and all freelance reporters get paid at the end of the month (we submit a bill at the end of the month and usually get a check by the first week of the following month.) Sadly, my boss - who is in charge of writing the checks and confirming everyone's freelance work - has been out of the office getting cancer treatments. I'm very close to her like a daughter since I've been at the paper over 10 years, but professionally, it's now a nuicance to freelance for the paper because, in her absence, no one else there can process our freelance checks. She's been working from home editing the paper sometimes, but doesn't go into the office any more. While she authorizes the publisher to write the checks, he has NoTHING to do with freelancers, so my boss still has to process everyone's bill first. I love my job reporting and making some extra money, but it's not fair, professionally, that I'm expected to meet deadlines and rush to get stories when we're no longer compensated in a timely manner. I feel bad my boss is fighting a disease, of course, but shouldn't they authorize someone else to take over the finances in her absence? Some people rely on that freelance check to pay bills at the end of the month as additional income.
    6 answers · Other - Careers & Employment · 4 weeks ago
  • Flirty men on fitness app?

    I'm an avid FitBit user and I have a few FitBit friends I connected with through the app. I also get requests from other people in the running community all over the world to compete in step challenges and motivational step goals. All is good. Every now and then, a random dude messages me on there "wow, you're gorgeous, how's is... show more
    I'm an avid FitBit user and I have a few FitBit friends I connected with through the app. I also get requests from other people in the running community all over the world to compete in step challenges and motivational step goals. All is good. Every now and then, a random dude messages me on there "wow, you're gorgeous, how's is going??" I wind up having to block them. I'm not on there to meet guys or chat - it's not a dating app!! Is there a way to ward off these losers?? It's not that big of a deal, but I'm NOT single and it's just annoying to deal with hounding men when I'm only on there to stay motivated with my running.
    1 answer · Singles & Dating · 4 weeks ago
  • Repost: My friend's trying to "lose" weight?

    * I've posted this question before, but now have a new angle -- My friend constantly messages me how she wants to lose weight by the summer. She is a BIG girl and I would say border line obese. She claims her diet is "gluten free" and she's trying to have a carb-free diet and she's on Weight Watchers. However, she's posting... show more
    * I've posted this question before, but now have a new angle -- My friend constantly messages me how she wants to lose weight by the summer. She is a BIG girl and I would say border line obese. She claims her diet is "gluten free" and she's trying to have a carb-free diet and she's on Weight Watchers. However, she's posting photos on social media of the things she cooks - garlic knots and all sorts of cakes and brownies. She claims she uses "healthy ingredients" for all of these treats she has, but how can she lose weight eating these things? She posts when she orders dumplings and sushi rolls, then complains she feels unsexy because of her weight. I don't want to say "maybe your baking and take out food is adding to your fat intake." But she sounds like she's desperate to lose weight and feel good about herself. Should I ignore her constant complaints about her weight when all she seems to do is eat cake and fast food? It's hard for me to be supportive because I'm a runner and exercise almost every day and NEVER eat the things that she eats (I'm a salad gal lol).
    1 answer · Friends · 1 month ago
  • Warming up to children?

    For some reason, it takes me a long time to warm up to little kids when I meet them - especially if they're physically all over me and I just met them for the first time. My boyfriend took me to his cousins house a while ago and they have a son. The boy was climbing all over me and sitting on my lap (cute, yes, I just felt like this was a weird... show more
    For some reason, it takes me a long time to warm up to little kids when I meet them - especially if they're physically all over me and I just met them for the first time. My boyfriend took me to his cousins house a while ago and they have a son. The boy was climbing all over me and sitting on my lap (cute, yes, I just felt like this was a weird boundary for me as I'd only known the kid 15 minutes lol). I know a lot of children are warm and taught to be affectionate and that it's a healthy sign of connecting, but I personally felt like I needed to be more comfortable with the boy before he touch my hair and start grabbing my arms/legs. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and his parents told him it's "not nice" - but I didn't want to seem like I was being cold and push the kids away. Is this normal to feel like a child I never met is invading my "personal space" by being all over me - or am I just too sensitive and have to learn to be more open with children.
    8 answers · Family · 1 month ago
  • Delete an absent friend from social media?

    Although I'd been close to my friend from Austrailia for 7 years and she's stayed with me a handful of times, we're growing apart in so may ways. After he last visit to NY in May last year, I realized she's a toxic person and was only using me for a place to stay while she hooked up with US men. In September or so, I told her I need... show more
    Although I'd been close to my friend from Austrailia for 7 years and she's stayed with me a handful of times, we're growing apart in so may ways. After he last visit to NY in May last year, I realized she's a toxic person and was only using me for a place to stay while she hooked up with US men. In September or so, I told her I need some space and time to myself, as she was growing very passive aggressive and sarcastic in her communication. Now, I'm realizing I don't want to be friends with her any longer. I'm 37 and she's 47, so we're not teenagers going through a "phase," I've decided she's toxic to stay in touch with at this point. I want to delete her from my social media (since she criticized things I've posted that she's expressed she's envious of) and cut the cord. Is there a point in sharing my life with her online? Eventually I will verbally tell her our friendship has "expired" so do I wait??
    2 answers · Friends · 1 month ago
  • My friend can't lose weight!?

    My best friend goes on tons of different diets and spends a whole day preparing her meals on Sunday with "gluten free" ingredients and "carb- cutting" foods. However, she is a BIG girl, very fat and says she wants to "lose a few pounds" by the summer and feel sexy again. She's not physically active and I've... show more
    My best friend goes on tons of different diets and spends a whole day preparing her meals on Sunday with "gluten free" ingredients and "carb- cutting" foods. However, she is a BIG girl, very fat and says she wants to "lose a few pounds" by the summer and feel sexy again. She's not physically active and I've suggested she do more walking or do trials at various gyms to join. Even though she complains every week how she's trying to eat healthy, she refuses to exercise and get moving. I'm very supportive of her - but I also can only go for walks and exercise with her on Sundays when she's busy all day doing meal prep (she works nights and all day Saturday, so that limits her "work out" time). I'm starting to think she maybe she doesn't REALLY want to lose weight and she's just comfortable with her body without making any true healthy changes. What can I say to her?
    6 answers · Friends · 1 month ago
  • A friend from elementary school suddenly wants to have lunch together?

    I've been friends on FB with this guy for almost 8 years. We went to elementary and junior high together and after connecting on FB, he never said one word to me - there was no connection, no commonalities, no interest, but like other classmates we have, I kept him on. He recently asked me to have lunch him since we work close to each other in... show more
    I've been friends on FB with this guy for almost 8 years. We went to elementary and junior high together and after connecting on FB, he never said one word to me - there was no connection, no commonalities, no interest, but like other classmates we have, I kept him on. He recently asked me to have lunch him since we work close to each other in the city, but I'm honestly not interested. I feel we really have nothing to talk about "after all this time" and he never messages me about the things I post or vice versa. He's just one of those people I kept on FB from school that's in my past - I really don't feel like, in my late 30's, I need to connect with someone I went to school with unless we have a common bond, which we don't. I also don't think he "likes" me since I'm publicly in a relationship and he's not flirting with me What can I say to my former classmate that expresses I'm not really keen on catching up since we have never spoken on FB in the entire 8 years?? I don't want to be rude, I just don't see the value in it - I don't see us forming a friendship based on anything.
    3 answers · Friends · 2 months ago
  • Boyfriend needs constant change in his life...?

    My boyfriend, in his 35+ years, has never had a job for more than 2-3 years, never had an apartment for longer than a couple of years and same with relationships. We've been together over a year and he swears he's happy with me, that I'm "perfect", but he's unhappy in his life because he keeps needing other changes - he... show more
    My boyfriend, in his 35+ years, has never had a job for more than 2-3 years, never had an apartment for longer than a couple of years and same with relationships. We've been together over a year and he swears he's happy with me, that I'm "perfect", but he's unhappy in his life because he keeps needing other changes - he wants a new job and to move to another apartment (he gave up one because of his lease, so now he's living with his mom after briefly living with me a few months). He doesn't understand why I'm upset that he always wants change in his life. I'm the opposite - I've had 2 stable jobs over the past 15 years and lived in my place for 10 years. I like stability and knowing I'm secure. While I love being with my BF and we hardly argue about values and commitment, I"m afraid that down the line, if we move into a new place together and he gets a new job, it'l only be a matter of time before he's bored with THOSE situations as well. He doesn't think something like this should stop us from being together (which seems naive to not comprehend). "I don't know what I want, all I know is I want to be with you." Is what he says. That's nice and all, but I don't want my future to be with someone who's never satisfied with their job/apartment or living situation. How else can I explain to him (maybe in guy terms) that it's unhealthy for me to go in this revolving door of uncertainty with him going forward?
    2 answers · Other - Family & Relationships · 3 months ago
  • Co-workers are too personal with me?

    I work in the reception portion of a pretty big office and it's a big company. I've been there for almost 2 years, but have NOT made my personal life peoples' business - I don't share my interests and people KNOW I want to be private (I learned that from being too personal at my last job of 12 years). In an effort to stay... show more
    I work in the reception portion of a pretty big office and it's a big company. I've been there for almost 2 years, but have NOT made my personal life peoples' business - I don't share my interests and people KNOW I want to be private (I learned that from being too personal at my last job of 12 years). In an effort to stay professional, I don't chit chat with my associates. But they comment on everything they see about me - what I happen to be munching on during my breaks (when they see me sitting alone) and what I buy from the store (I bought papertowels for my home and one of the VPs asked me a handful of questions about where I bought them and how am I getting them home - on the train??) I know they want to get to know me and be sociable, but it's really not neccessary, as I feel I'm not at this job to make friends - I'm here to work and do my job. I also don't work closely with these people 8 hours a day - I may see them 15 minutes one day and don't feel like being interrogated about my personal activities. Is there a nice way to answer them when they start ambushing me with questions about when I made my lunch and where I go food shopping?? WHat's the etiquette to make it clear they've crossed boundaries for me?
    9 answers · Etiquette · 4 months ago
  • How can I end the relationship after all this?

    My boyfriend and I have been together over a year. He moved in with me after he lost his lease last summer and I thought it would be great. BUT he's not happy "in my space" and wants to get a better job and a place of his own that I would move into with him eventually. He said he's unhappy being at my place every day and is in a... show more
    My boyfriend and I have been together over a year. He moved in with me after he lost his lease last summer and I thought it would be great. BUT he's not happy "in my space" and wants to get a better job and a place of his own that I would move into with him eventually. He said he's unhappy being at my place every day and is in a bad "routine". He's going to move back to his mother's house while he "figures out" what he needs to do. I want to be there for him - as he said this feeling has nothing to do with us or me, but doesn't it? How can I end it when he leaves and tell him how his moving out effects the long term of our relationship?
    2 answers · Other - Family & Relationships · 4 months ago
  • Boyfriend is in a "rut" living with me...?

    My boyfriend moved in with me last summer because he didn't want to renew the lease on his apartment and it was great that we shared space and both saved money. We've been together a little over a year now but he's feeling "trapped" and like he wants his own space again where he can put all of his belongings (which are now at... show more
    My boyfriend moved in with me last summer because he didn't want to renew the lease on his apartment and it was great that we shared space and both saved money. We've been together a little over a year now but he's feeling "trapped" and like he wants his own space again where he can put all of his belongings (which are now at his mothers). He also said he feels like it's a routine every day coming home doing the same thing (this is HIS issue, as I have projects and hobbies and sometimes go out on evening jobs). He's proposing to go back home and live with his mother while he "figures things out" where his job and financed are concerned. We're both in our mid 30s and I'm wondering how I can have a future and spend my life with someone who feels coming home to my place or to every day is a "rut" and "routine" that stops him from being productive. He knows he wants his own apartment again and for me to move into a new place with HIM, but why should I give up MY place if he can't figure things out at this point in his life? He said it's NOT me - that I'm "perfect" and he doesn't want to change our relationship, just better himself and his job situation. How will moving back home to his mother help him with this? I'm on the verge of telling him to go to his mothers and then breaking up with him since he's putting me through this roller coaster. How can I approach this?
    2 answers · Singles & Dating · 4 months ago
  • He's not romantic or flirty- WTF?

    When I'm with my bf, he's loving and affectionate and says all these romantic things. However, when we don't see each other for days at a time, he NEVER flirts on text, rarely says he misses me and it's like he's chatting with a guy friend. We've been together a year now and he's been this way the whole time, but now... show more
    When I'm with my bf, he's loving and affectionate and says all these romantic things. However, when we don't see each other for days at a time, he NEVER flirts on text, rarely says he misses me and it's like he's chatting with a guy friend. We've been together a year now and he's been this way the whole time, but now I'm wondering why he's like this. Any ideas?
    1 answer · Singles & Dating · 5 months ago
  • Stay with a man to change him?

    Survey-wise - do more women stay with men who are bad for them hoping the men will change - or do they stay with them because they're desperately lonely?
    Survey-wise - do more women stay with men who are bad for them hoping the men will change - or do they stay with them because they're desperately lonely?
    2 answers · Polls & Surveys · 5 months ago
  • I'm NEVER a morning person. Help!?

    I have to wake up around 5:30-6 a.m. to be at work. No matter how early I go to sleep - can be 8-9 at night, I'm ALWAYS tired in the morning and can't actually "wake up" til around 11. I have to be 'on' the next few days at work and I'm trying to be alert, have coffee and a healthy breakfast of fruit/cereal to start my... show more
    I have to wake up around 5:30-6 a.m. to be at work. No matter how early I go to sleep - can be 8-9 at night, I'm ALWAYS tired in the morning and can't actually "wake up" til around 11. I have to be 'on' the next few days at work and I'm trying to be alert, have coffee and a healthy breakfast of fruit/cereal to start my day right, but I'm constantly dragging myself in the morning unless I'm up at 7 or 8 a.m. I also exercise a lot, go to the gym and run as often as I can to keep my physical health in check - but it' not helping me peel myself out of bed in the morning any faster.
    3 answers · Other - Health · 6 months ago
  • What does it mean if a man has to "figure things in his life out?"?

    My boyfriend moved in with me a few months ago, but he recently decided to move back home to his mother's to "figure out" what he wants. He claims he wants to spend his life with me but also wants to "figure out" professionally and wants to make enough money to get an apartment where I'd move in with him. Aparently,... show more
    My boyfriend moved in with me a few months ago, but he recently decided to move back home to his mother's to "figure out" what he wants. He claims he wants to spend his life with me but also wants to "figure out" professionally and wants to make enough money to get an apartment where I'd move in with him. Aparently, living with me makes him feel like he's in a rut in "my space". He's miserable with his job and wants big change. Since he's moved out, we still spend time together and plan a lot of things for the future, but how is moving back home with his mother going to help him "figure life out"? We're in our mid 30s -- this is the time to have a stable foundation. I feel like he's sending me mixed signals.
    1 answer · Other - Family & Relationships · 6 months ago
  • When you're scarred by your past experiences...?

    So far in my life, I've been in 3 serious relationships (I'm in my late 30s) and I'd hoped that those relationships were going to lead to marriage etc. While my exes were the ones who stone walled me and dumped me after about a year and a half (one called it quits after our on and off relationship of 6 years). Suffice to say, I feel like... show more
    So far in my life, I've been in 3 serious relationships (I'm in my late 30s) and I'd hoped that those relationships were going to lead to marriage etc. While my exes were the ones who stone walled me and dumped me after about a year and a half (one called it quits after our on and off relationship of 6 years). Suffice to say, I feel like I KNOW when something isn't right since I have experience in seeing the decline of a relationship. My current boyfriend is pulling some of the things on me that my exes pulled right before things ended..saying things like "We need to miss each other" or "I can't tell you how to feel," "I don't know what to say." I told him upfront that I've heard all these lines before from my exes and I get the feeling he's another one that's going to bite the dust :( He says he wants to be with me, but has moved out of our place to be with his mother "temporarily" to help her after she had minor foot surgery. I'm extremely skeptical! We've been together a year and I'm very happy with everything - but I still get a sense he's using his mother to get away from me and do what my exes did, pull away and end the relationship. He's following the pattern from my past - so how do I deal with this??
    4 answers · Psychology · 6 months ago
  • How to talk to a socially awkward coworker?

    There's a girl who covers my lunch shifts and the shift when I leave my job in the evening. Everyone at the company feels she is not the brightest crayon in the box - he manager even called her a "space cadet" and she's cost the company hundreds of dollars because she is very slow and incompetent. I believe the only reason... show more
    There's a girl who covers my lunch shifts and the shift when I leave my job in the evening. Everyone at the company feels she is not the brightest crayon in the box - he manager even called her a "space cadet" and she's cost the company hundreds of dollars because she is very slow and incompetent. I believe the only reason she's kept her job is because her manager feels bad for her. I have VERY awkward conversation with this girl. She asks me how was my weekend on a Thursday when I just saw her the day before and she asks how my run at the gym went on my lunch break - and if they have any classes there, which I told her 3 times there are NO classes. She really seems to have problems processing information and it feels strange to talk to her even casually. How do you get through talking to someone who's socially awkward like this??
    6 answers · Etiquette · 6 months ago