• Is my boyfriend lazy or just needs guidance?

    When I come home from work, I usually have a lot to do - particularly getting ready for the next day like getting my clothes ready for the next day (since I'm up at 6 I do everything the night before), setting my coffee pot and catching up on paperwork from assignments I did at my evening job that week. My boyfriend keeps wanting me to just sit... show more
    When I come home from work, I usually have a lot to do - particularly getting ready for the next day like getting my clothes ready for the next day (since I'm up at 6 I do everything the night before), setting my coffee pot and catching up on paperwork from assignments I did at my evening job that week. My boyfriend keeps wanting me to just sit with him and watch tv and "relax". While he can do SOME things to help me, like do the dishes that are may be still in the sink and take out garbage, there are things I need to do at home that he can't do for me and I can't just sit watching tv. I'm lucky enough to be able to do laundry at work, so when I get home I often have to organize my clothes and whatever else has to be put away. He can really only help me so much and it's easier if I put my own things away, of course. How can I explain nicely that sitting and watching TV (there's only 1 in the living room, so we can't watch it in the kitchen while we're cooking or in the bedroom while putting clothes away) is the LAST thing I want to do when I get home because I have a lot of responsibilities/chores!! Is he just lazy and not understanding what it means to be an adult?
    5 answers · Other - Family & Relationships · 1 day ago
  • Home improvement project stressing me out!?

    My boyfriend and I decided to mount a tv on the living room wall. It's my apartment, but I'm more than willing to make changes and improvements with his help. Now, the TV is mounted and we've TOTALLY rearranged the living room and there's stuff EVERYWHERE! This project resulted in me having to throw out some of my valued possessions... show more
    My boyfriend and I decided to mount a tv on the living room wall. It's my apartment, but I'm more than willing to make changes and improvements with his help. Now, the TV is mounted and we've TOTALLY rearranged the living room and there's stuff EVERYWHERE! This project resulted in me having to throw out some of my valued possessions and there's less room now to plug various appliances in. I love that my bf helped me redo the living room and make it "different" - and I can't go back now and say I'm unhappy with it - I thought it would look nice, but it's more of a hassle now. But the clean up and facing all the things I have to get rid of (photos, figurines, books) is giving me anxiety. I don't even want to be in my living room or LOOK at the task ahead. How can I get motivated to make my living room space decent again?
    3 answers · Other - Family & Relationships · 2 days ago
  • Why do many people require less personal space than others?

    More specifically, when people are in public and have plenty of space around them, but choose to station themselves close to another individual. Is it a cultural thing that some cultures do not have a concept of personal space and respecting strangers' ideas/physical feelings on keeping a distance? What determines why a person is more... show more
    More specifically, when people are in public and have plenty of space around them, but choose to station themselves close to another individual. Is it a cultural thing that some cultures do not have a concept of personal space and respecting strangers' ideas/physical feelings on keeping a distance? What determines why a person is more comfortable being physically close to strangers in public than others?
    4 answers · Etiquette · 6 days ago
  • Not looking forward to seeing my boyfriend's family!?

    My boyfriend's cousin and wife invited us over this weekend. They have a 5 year old boy who when we saw him last, climbed all over us and it was very uncomfortable for me. The boy was all over me and touching me and I laughed it off and stood up to stop him from grabbing me. The parents told the boy over and over to stop being so physical - and... show more
    My boyfriend's cousin and wife invited us over this weekend. They have a 5 year old boy who when we saw him last, climbed all over us and it was very uncomfortable for me. The boy was all over me and touching me and I laughed it off and stood up to stop him from grabbing me. The parents told the boy over and over to stop being so physical - and it was the FIRST time I ever met the kid- but he was all over me anyway. I want to spend time with my bf's family, but the little boy is too physical and I don't know him that well and I'm not comfortable being physically handled that way by a child I barely know (especially having my hair played with or the child hanging on my shoulders - it's just physically awkward right now). How can I handle the confrontation when we see them and the kid starts to swing all over me and touch me uncomfortably when he's just being "friendly"?
    8 answers · Family · 6 days ago
  • Boyfriend's BAD ideas for "redecorating" the apartment...?

    My boyfriend had an idea to redecorate and move things around the apartment - and mount a flatscreen TV on the wall, which require lots of drilling, holes without permission from my landlord. We moved a bunch of furniture around last night and he wants one of the couches literally in the middle of the living room, which looks obtuse to me, as the... show more
    My boyfriend had an idea to redecorate and move things around the apartment - and mount a flatscreen TV on the wall, which require lots of drilling, holes without permission from my landlord. We moved a bunch of furniture around last night and he wants one of the couches literally in the middle of the living room, which looks obtuse to me, as the back of the couch is the first thing you see when you enter the apartment - it also now takes away from the open space of the huge living room, In addition, his interior design ideas resulted in me having to put a bunch of my things in storage (which he said he'll store at his mom's apartment), so there's less room now and the burden of hauling away half of the furniture from the living room simply because we're trying "change" things up by mounting a tv. I want to say nicely that I hate the new arrangement and now having to store my furniture elsewhere because of a TV - and I want things to go back to the way it was - but he's already bought everything to change the way the place looks. We did a trial set up and now the apartment looks like a hurricane came through. How can I be honest and not insult him?
    3 answers · Singles & Dating · 1 week ago
  • Overweight friend isn't motivated?

    My best friend is trying to lose weight, but has no "goal" or target. She's been heavy all of her life but says she wants to be smaller and sexier. She's on a "diet" - but doesn't exercise or move around a lot. The biggest part of her problem is she blames her exboyfriend's death from 5 years ago for her not... show more
    My best friend is trying to lose weight, but has no "goal" or target. She's been heavy all of her life but says she wants to be smaller and sexier. She's on a "diet" - but doesn't exercise or move around a lot. The biggest part of her problem is she blames her exboyfriend's death from 5 years ago for her not being able to heal and lose weight. Her ex was found dead inside of another woman's home - a woman he got pregnant while he and my friend were together. Instead of my friend moving on 5 years later, she's using his death as a crutch for why she can't lose weight and "heal" from things. What can I say to her that's not mean? I've been supportive of her - even gave her my old FitBit to help her motivate herself to walk more. She wants to lose weight and feels uncomfortable with herself, but how can I tell her she's holding onto a toxic past and I don't understand how that unhealthy relationship is still causing her to keep her weight on all these years later.
    3 answers · Friends · 1 week ago
  • My girlfriends never want to take photos??

    With all of the women out there obsessed with selfies, I'm unsure why my friends never want us to take photos when we're out. One of my best friends from high school is insecure about her weight - but we're in our mid 30s and we have no photos together of memories we make when we go out. She refuses to capture our moments... show more
    With all of the women out there obsessed with selfies, I'm unsure why my friends never want us to take photos when we're out. One of my best friends from high school is insecure about her weight - but we're in our mid 30s and we have no photos together of memories we make when we go out. She refuses to capture our moments together. Yesterday I met up with a younger friend who's gorgeous and I have not seen her in over 7 years and she forbid me to post or take photos of us together even though it was a cool time hanging out and making memories. I have no digital footprints of times with friends to look back on (regardless of postings on social media) because it seems like all the women I'm friends with don't like the way they look or are too private. I also don't know if they're intimidated by my physical appearance, as I'm slim and in shape and they seem shy about having ANY photos of themselves taken, which I still think is strange! Is this odd given that sooo many women are selfie-obsessed these days???
    3 answers · Friends · 1 week ago
  • Are portable washer/driers worth the investment?

    I've been doing research on portable washer/driers that can handle 9 lbs of clothes. They look like they can do the simple job, as I currently handwash a lot of my dedicates by letting them soak. Are the portable ones a lot of work and easy to use or is the set up and use a bit of a hassle?
    I've been doing research on portable washer/driers that can handle 9 lbs of clothes. They look like they can do the simple job, as I currently handwash a lot of my dedicates by letting them soak. Are the portable ones a lot of work and easy to use or is the set up and use a bit of a hassle?
    1 answer · Cleaning & Laundry · 1 week ago
  • My boyfriend is always tired.. WTF?

    For some reason, my BF is constantly tired. He's had blood tests, although I'm not sure if standard tests would show lack or certain blood cells, but regardless of all the sleep he has, he still lacks energy. Last week he had a couple of days off from work - one day we were running around, but the next day, Thursday, he was home pretty much... show more
    For some reason, my BF is constantly tired. He's had blood tests, although I'm not sure if standard tests would show lack or certain blood cells, but regardless of all the sleep he has, he still lacks energy. Last week he had a couple of days off from work - one day we were running around, but the next day, Thursday, he was home pretty much doing nothing and woke up late. Over the weekend he said he needed to "recover from the week" meanwhile he works 10-5 and doesn't have a physically strenuous job. I get up at 6 in the morning, he's up at 830, but he's still super tired every day. It's effecting our relationship because I want to get up and out on the weekends and don't require much sleep, whereas he loves to get up at 11:30 and slowly ease into his day. There were times he was up "early" but those days are rare. His exhaustion is sort of drawing a wedge between us since I have energy to do lots of things and his battery doesn't stay charged as long as mine!!! How do I deal with this in the long-term?
    3 answers · Other - Family & Relationships · 1 week ago
  • Friends are make bad life decisions. How can I meet positive ppl?

    I've lost a lot of friends because they make poor decisions in life that wind up effecting our friendship. One friend was staying with me from another country (we'd been friends 7 years) because she chose to get into a relationship with a man in jail. She came to visit me but her time was consumed my meeting men, so we had some friction and... show more
    I've lost a lot of friends because they make poor decisions in life that wind up effecting our friendship. One friend was staying with me from another country (we'd been friends 7 years) because she chose to get into a relationship with a man in jail. She came to visit me but her time was consumed my meeting men, so we had some friction and I don't speak with her any more. Another friend became less sociable in her search to lose weight - she doesn't want to do anything with me like she did and she's a friend of mine from high school. She's crawling inside herself more and more as time progresses, so we speak less as much as I want to be there for her, she can't hang out due to her personal choices to cook and clean all day. I'm in my mid 30s and finding it hard to meet women to spend time and bond with who make POSITIVE decisions for themselve and GROW in life. I exercise, run and read and love to travel.Any advice???
    1 answer · Friends · 2 weeks ago
  • Do you delete people on social media when you drift apart?

    I've become less sociable over the years and I'm now really learning who I connect with and don't connect with. Part of me only has friends on social media like FB because we ONCE had a solid friendship, but drifted apart. I'm learning that a lot of people are in their own worlds, have nothing in common with me and it seems useless... show more
    I've become less sociable over the years and I'm now really learning who I connect with and don't connect with. Part of me only has friends on social media like FB because we ONCE had a solid friendship, but drifted apart. I'm learning that a lot of people are in their own worlds, have nothing in common with me and it seems useless to share my endeavors/experiences with people who I'm not close to. Of course, it's my FB, I can do what I want, I also feel like some friendships are temporary until we learn about how much we connect or don't connect with someone. Does anyone just keep people on their social media to be "nice"?
    Friends · 2 weeks ago
  • Getting back into exercise/running mode after lazy vacation!?

    I've been active/running exercising for a couple of years now. I was on vacation a few weeks ago and managed to get some good runs and a gym session in. Then, I took a trip overseas and really couldn't follow my regimen since I wanted to be at the beach and give running a small break as I enjoyed my tropical vacation. I've been lethargic... show more
    I've been active/running exercising for a couple of years now. I was on vacation a few weeks ago and managed to get some good runs and a gym session in. Then, I took a trip overseas and really couldn't follow my regimen since I wanted to be at the beach and give running a small break as I enjoyed my tropical vacation. I've been lethargic since coming home and haven't felt like running much or going to the gym. But my body is hurting and I'm finding it a challenge to get back into the swing of being in shape. Any advice for first steps back into the fitlife? Thanks!
    1 answer · Diet & Fitness · 2 weeks ago
  • Friend with perverse FB posts - is this why he's single?

    A friend of mine who I disconnected with over 6 years ago became friends with me on FB recently. We dated for a couple years back in the day, but then remained friends and he got married, so we stopped talking. He's always posted sexual things on FB, jokes about women's boobs, or men having threesomes, and other sexual jokes that seemed... show more
    A friend of mine who I disconnected with over 6 years ago became friends with me on FB recently. We dated for a couple years back in the day, but then remained friends and he got married, so we stopped talking. He's always posted sexual things on FB, jokes about women's boobs, or men having threesomes, and other sexual jokes that seemed harmless but were a little "womanizing"/flirty and was one of the reasons I didn't want to date him, since I wanted a more "conservative humored" man. Oddly enough, after reconnecting with him on FB, it's as though he hasn't changed at all and what's worse, he had an ugly divorce. He told me his wife left him after he started hanging out with a woman at his job, so clearly, his flirting/flaunting hasn't helped. He asks me for advice now, how to get his life on track, as a friend, and misses his married life. I truly think he's ruining his love life over and over by being a womanizer and posting sexual things as if he sees women as pure objects. What you do if you saw a man constantly post sexual diviant subjects? Is this a faithful person?
    2 answers · Friends · 2 weeks ago
  • Weird social media friend "suggestions"-- anyone have this experience?

    On LinkedIn and Facebook, I get "friend suggestions" from people from my past who have NO connection AT ALL to my e-mail address, phone number or ANY friends in common. I'm finding they're suggesting people like guys who I had ONE date with 10 years ago (before I was even on FB or LinkedIn). There was one dude who I chatted with... show more
    On LinkedIn and Facebook, I get "friend suggestions" from people from my past who have NO connection AT ALL to my e-mail address, phone number or ANY friends in common. I'm finding they're suggesting people like guys who I had ONE date with 10 years ago (before I was even on FB or LinkedIn). There was one dude who I chatted with via Instagram for one week YEARS ago and yet he comes up as a friend suggestion on Facebook - but we have no common friends and he's not in my phone any more as a personal contact..Hmmmm ... My guess is that people from my past are looking me up for their own odd reasons? Just curious since I had NO ties or communication/professional relations by ANY means with many people social media "suggests. It's silly, but has anyone experienced this too?
    5 answers · Friends · 3 weeks ago
  • My bf invaded my privacy.. What now?

    While on vacation, I'd had my journal from months ago in my beach bag to catch up in. My boyfriend said he "stumbled" upon a page with some unsavory content from a time when he moved out of my apartment (which hurt me deeply) and I wrote that I guess I was just "using him" for companionship, since he didn't want a future... show more
    While on vacation, I'd had my journal from months ago in my beach bag to catch up in. My boyfriend said he "stumbled" upon a page with some unsavory content from a time when he moved out of my apartment (which hurt me deeply) and I wrote that I guess I was just "using him" for companionship, since he didn't want a future living with me. It put a dent in our vacation and now he wants to move back in with me as a result of seeing what I wrote months ago. I guess I was dumb to bring my journal with me - but can he be trusted to not look through my things? He said he just noticed a page open and wasn't "prying" but he didn't want to keep in what he found out I really felt. How do I deal with his snoopery??? I totally trust him, but I also want to be able to have a place to write what I feel without him being insecure and snooping into my things :(
    7 answers · Singles & Dating · 3 weeks ago
  • Can't find friends who have energy/motivation?

    I'm at a point in my life, in my mid 30s, where I'm very active. I exercise regularly, eat right and love to be out all day. I have a lot of energy but it seems not a lot of people I'm associated with who I WANT to spend time with can match my energy. My best friend is overweight and is more "comfortable" doing low-key things.... show more
    I'm at a point in my life, in my mid 30s, where I'm very active. I exercise regularly, eat right and love to be out all day. I have a lot of energy but it seems not a lot of people I'm associated with who I WANT to spend time with can match my energy. My best friend is overweight and is more "comfortable" doing low-key things. I've lost 2 other friends in the past year who don't have the same level of energy as me and it's sad because we could have a great time together if they actually wanted to meet up and go out. I don't like to be home sitting around watching movies or TV when it's warm out and there are so many places to go! My boyfriend also said he can't keep up with me - that I have too much energy for him even though we go running together and trek different places, he burns out really fast and wants to do nothing some days, which is ok. At my age I'm finding less and less people are active and energetic. Is this normal??
    2 answers · Friends · 2 months ago
  • Buying pre-owned sneaker on eBay?

    Any recommendations or advisements against buying pre-owned sneakers on eBay?? I see some sellers posting them that are in "gently used" shape and the photos don't show signs of a lot of wear, but I'm still skeptical. I don't want to pay over $100 for some sneakers, so maybe an alternative is getting pre-owned sneakers that... show more
    Any recommendations or advisements against buying pre-owned sneakers on eBay?? I see some sellers posting them that are in "gently used" shape and the photos don't show signs of a lot of wear, but I'm still skeptical. I don't want to pay over $100 for some sneakers, so maybe an alternative is getting pre-owned sneakers that have practically no wear??? Or is this totally skeevy and disgusting no matter if they were worn a couple times.
    5 answers · Fashion & Accessories · 3 months ago
  • Co-workers have type A personalities!?

    I've been at my administrative assistant job for 2 years after being in the news industry for 12 years, so now I am calm and know what "panic" situations are (shootings, stabbings, accidents.etc). I now work in the fashion industry and some of my co-workers, who put in 12 hours a day, are extremely high strung, ambushing me about... show more
    I've been at my administrative assistant job for 2 years after being in the news industry for 12 years, so now I am calm and know what "panic" situations are (shootings, stabbings, accidents.etc). I now work in the fashion industry and some of my co-workers, who put in 12 hours a day, are extremely high strung, ambushing me about menial things like sign-out sheets and copy paper. I don't deal well with people who are high strung and panic over small things since I've been in a lot worse situations being on deadline for a newspaper. I try to assure to help these co-workers but they are stressed and hyper and want me to be the same way. I'm close to walking out of the office and quitting, the tension is so high. How do I handle these people??
    1 answer · Other - Family & Relationships · 3 months ago
  • Am I growing apart from my boyfriend?

    When my bf and I lived together for a few months last year, I felt super close to him and so passionate about our future. He wound up moving out earlier this year simply because he "missed" having his own space and felt like he was in a rut living in my apartment (there was no fighting or bad words). In the past couple of months, having... show more
    When my bf and I lived together for a few months last year, I felt super close to him and so passionate about our future. He wound up moving out earlier this year simply because he "missed" having his own space and felt like he was in a rut living in my apartment (there was no fighting or bad words). In the past couple of months, having ample time to myself, I answered an Instagram message from my married ex (who's now getting a divorce). I don't flirt with my ex since we've known each other over 10 years - but my bf having moved out sort of made me feel "single" again. We text a lot and see each other on the weekends, but the dynamic has changed since we're not living together. Am I right in feeling this distance now?
    4 answers · Singles & Dating · 4 months ago
  • Moving in together again a bad idea?

    My boyfriend moved in with me last year in June when he lost his apt lease, then he missed having his own space and felt like he was too emersed in "my environment" so he moved back home to his mom's earlier this year while he looks for a better job to get a better place for himself. He feels like it's "all of my stuff"... show more
    My boyfriend moved in with me last year in June when he lost his apt lease, then he missed having his own space and felt like he was too emersed in "my environment" so he moved back home to his mom's earlier this year while he looks for a better job to get a better place for himself. He feels like it's "all of my stuff" in my apartment and misses his own space. At the same time, when he gets his own place, he wants ME to move in with HIM, and then it will generate more issues I'm sure since I'll be in HIS space. I've lived with men before and "alone time" is now overratted. I'm completely happy in other aspects of our relationship, but I don't EVER see us living together permanently in each other's "space." Is it logical, in our mid-30s to JUST keep dating and not get married or ever move in together?? I LOVE my apartment - it's HUGE and warm and the rent is soo cheap, but it's not a 'home' to him :(
    1 answer · Singles & Dating · 4 months ago