Hello, My name is Doctor Phillis.
For today's session we'll pretend that you're writing in your diary. Feel free to TYPE IN ALL CAPS, make sound effects *BAM* *SPLAT* *SQUEAKY* (squeaky? lmao), and momentarily forget that you're an intelligent adult/young person/even younger person by interjecting a swear word or two..or three.. to release some frustration.
Please remove all children from the room, position yourself comfortably in your chair, lock the doors, unhook the phone, and put the gun down...
*Warning, the following answers to this question may be violent and disturbing in nature, parental guidance is advised*
1) Do you find yourself hooked by some interesting idea/plot concept/character in the beginning of a book ONLY to find yourself disappointed b/c the author did not take that idea/concept in an interesting direction? If so, what was it and what would you like to say/do to that author?
2) What cliche/dialogue type/writing style/etc irritates you the most?
3) What female and/or male character in literature do you dislike the most and why?
4) If you wrote a speculative fiction novel and debuted that novel at a local comic-con..and you saw others dressing up as your creatures and completely butchering the characters or language you created, what would you think?
5) If you were at a book signing for your book and you heard someone compare you to your most disliked author in an unkind way, how would you react?
6) As a reader and fan of some story, have you ever felt an overwhelming compulsion to defend a story when you felt someone was unjustly criticizing it? Did you say anything?
7) What is frustrating you the most at this very moment about the story you're currently writing/reading?
8) What type of character would immediately make you stop reading a book? What theme? What subject matter? and why? (angers you, depresses you, reminds you of past, etc)
9) Have you ever felt utterly disgusted as a reader/writer when you saw another author with inferior writing skills than you/your favorite author gain more publicity and fandom than yourself/fav. author? How do you react?
10) Do you read/write about crimes that you have, on at least one occasion, wanted/felt compelled to commit yourself?
11) What is the most dissatisfying thing an author can do in a story? (kill off character unreasonably? use cliff hangers, leave an open/unresolved ending/questions, etc)
12) If you could become an editor for a week would you use that opportunity to criticize/talk sense into your least/most favorite authors?
13) How did this interview make you feel? what do you think about that?
Ok, now to lighten the mood :)
BQ1) What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?
BQ2) What childhood memory are you most fond of?
BQ3) What always makes you smile no matter how often you hear it/see it?
BQ4) What's your favorite trait in a friend?
BQ5) If there was one thing you could improve about yourself (no matter what it is), what would it be?
BQ6) Have you ever received a prank phone call? What was the gist of it? Did you laugh?
BQ7) Make up a fake swear word and use it in a sentence.
BQ8) How do you feel about Dr. Phil or some tv show host "Psychologist" on your local tv?
Thanks for your time & I hope this alleviated some frustration/boredom while perusing Y!A. XD @sensual: Yes, I completely understand how you feel. I feel my cerebral cortex begin to fry when I have to choose between sparkled, still, or tap water at a restaurant. :D Your answer cracked me up btw so thumbs up for you lol.
And feel free to pick and choose questions. This is purely meant to poke fun. I'm just procrastinating before work so I thought I'd be annoying and post a series of questions :) @Amb: Awesome answer! Thanks for the creativity and laughs. (Is it just me or do most YA users reserve their answers for questions that require little thought/effort?..or perhaps its too early?) I have to get my lazy A double S out the door for work but I wanted to leave a message before I left. Love the swear word. I'll use it at work. I work with accountants so let's see how they react..I'll keep you posted muahahaha @EB: bahaha doowickety..I'm so using that today. bahaha. You're awesome. UPDATE: So I went to work and Jim asked me for some tax forms and I go "What in the YAGERDOODLE are you talking about?" He blinked at me and said "Excuse me?" LMAO. After lunch I just finished up my paper work and lost my stapler and sighed impatiently and said, "Where in the doowickety" is that stapler?" I couldn't keep a straight face after that and laughed like bo bo the clown, further disturbing my co-workers. lmao. It was hilarious though so thanks guys :D @Junebug: BAHAHA! I love you.
Great answers guys.