I can relate to what you are saying to a degree. I have had some similar experience. One thing that I have noticed is that when I am thinking wrong, I am not being good to myself, and choices I make do not reflect who I want to be. All the things that make me frustrated lead me to think with anger or a sense of having been let down. ...
I can relate to what you are saying to a degree. I have had some similar experience. One thing that I have noticed is that when I am thinking wrong, I am not being good to myself, and choices I make do not reflect who I want to be. All the things that make me frustrated lead me to think with anger or a sense of having been let down. These lead me to think wrong.
If I think about what I want, who I am, what makes me be true to myself, then I sense the goodness about me, and by shining such light of love, people love to experience basking in my light.
Let your light shine. It's clear in your words that you do have a light to shine. I think many people struggle with doing so. Having clearer thoughts, having better perspective. Being let down is something painful. Please don't be bad to yourself. Think about things that shine who you are. It draws people to you. People reach out. Give yourself time. Don't be bad to yourself.
Don't allow people who have mistreated you to guide your thoughts. I know it's not easy sometimes. It's easy to be bad to ourselves.
I kept 2 books, with help and guidance, I realised what was happening.
Book one: We constantly think., Sometimes we think on the negative, rather than what is helpful to us. To keep a record of all the negative thoughts I was having, I would daily write my negative thoughts. Such thoughts were named Ants (Automatic Negative Thinking). I was to imagine that I had a gopher who would travel far to find the answers to my negative thoughts. I believed the answers would come back to me, It worked. I would write the answers in the same book.
The answers became clear. Also, it became clear that the thoughts were very much the same and that I was being hard on myself.
Book two. I wrote 10 things I was thankful for each day. Sometimes it was as simple as being thankful for realising the negative thinking pattern. We are always thinking. Sometimes I went back to the negative thinking. I realised that the thoughts were less effective on me and I could recognise they were not true.
We are the now, not the past. Thoughts of past are not helpful. Thinking of the now and growing, becoming stronger is my aim. Meditation on the now was and still can be helpful.
Biblical quotes have been amazing. I only mention this because it helped me and still does.
The love you have expressed is real. The thought of such love being something within me. It is real. Unconditional love is something real. People can be judgemental. Worry not about what others say if they are unkind. Keep hold of the unconditional love you recognise you have and wish to share. Only hold onto thoughts that are helpful. Be kind to yourself.
I often imagine that I am connected to a light of love, unconditional love. I allow myself to experience that moment and stay there. I find things that help me to relax. I found music on Youtube that is uplifting. I allow myself to have communication with people to share my experience and feelings.
Talking it out can help us realise it's manageable. It's a new chapter. Think of the seed that falls into the ground, in the soil. The sun shines and it reaches out and grows.
Choose good friends. Be a good friend. Give yourself time to become strong, to process your thoughts. Find someone to talk to. A doctor can refer you to a counsellor. They are helpful when you get one you can talk to. If you find one you can't talk to they should be happy to find another.
The first step is talking.
Best wishes. I hope some of this is helpful.
Freedom is the first word that I thought of. I thought of myself tearing away from the negativeness. Reaching to the light. Feeling the light. Experiencing the unconditional love. I read stories of angels, who helped and guided people. Being open to the love, allows it to happen. Releases us from the chains we sometimes apply to ourself. They are the thoughts that don't allow us to grow and be happy.
I hope you feel the love that you hold in you. Give yourself time each day to take yourself there. Quiet time with yourself. Feel the joy of the love inside. Quietness is something we often don't give ourselves. Give yourself the time regularly, daily.