The reason I answer this is because I know how it feels to experience that feeling of being alone, having no one who really seems to be there for me. It's a struggle. I have put many ideas through my head as to why some people are the way they are with me, and sometimes it's just that I haven't noticed what is really...
The reason I answer this is because I know how it feels to experience that feeling of being alone, having no one who really seems to be there for me. It's a struggle. I have put many ideas through my head as to why some people are the way they are with me, and sometimes it's just that I haven't noticed what is really occurring. It was said to me before, "there is nothing as queer as folk." -meaning people say things often they don't mean. So, when I hear someone has said something it is sometimes not what they would have said to my face because it was said in frustration.
That aside, my reason for living, although much has gone wrong, and lost, I know that I am becoming a better person, learning to keep my love alive. Perhaps the part of me that wants to die, is only those parts of me that are bad. It is the things of darkness that call me to death. It is the beauty of love that calls me to live. I will not die for any wrong I have done, because that is what it would have me do. I will allow my failings to fall away from me and die. I will learn to love myself with happiness.
If I were not here, I would no longer be able to have a positive impact on the people I meet. I would be lost. I would be a memory of one who gave away potential. I will live through the times of hardness, and endure. I will feel my sadness, because it will make me stronger. I will have tears, and feel better sometimes for having them. I will turn my thoughts into good thoughts. I will master my thoughts and stand stronger.
In this life we can learn to control our thoughts. I realised that I had a story in my mind, where I was telling myself the same story, and those thoughts were not true. I had a note book to record my negative thoughts. I would challenge them, and ask myself if they were true. I realised they were not.
I also kept a gratitude book. This book was my help. I was thankful for so much. I realised I had become unaware of basic things in life I should be thankful for. I now look to be generous to people. There are so many people we can help out there. Each small act makes a difference I believe. Without giving away so much it leaves nothing for ourself. We need to be happy and good inside before we can help another.
So much time and effort goes into appearance sometimes. People don't stop to think about the inside. Our thoughts, our self-talk. Think about the now, the power we have to be at peace.
I enjoyed listening to songs about hurt and about strength. I enjoyed listening to talks on the moment of now, because now is what is real -the past has gone. The now makes the future. Youtube had some good meditations. I enjoyed the bible. I enjoyed reading what God has for me. What hope His call holds for us. How He wants us to be encouraged.
I hope some of this helps.